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A decision made and one I hope to keep.

With that last blog “Status update becomes a blog,” I’ve made yet another decision. I’m really tired of being bombarded by the less than helpful images and general “news” of the world on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called, so I am going to change what I want to see on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. I’m going to change what I post on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. Bye bye, CNN, ABC and the like. I ❤️ ya Huffpost, but you gotta go. Let me put it this way. If it’s not music related, family related, garden related and basic general stuff; I’m not going to post it. After all I don’t and people should not get their “news” from Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the like.

We’ll see how this works..

✌️ my siblings from another mother✌️

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A status update becomes a blog

Wow, I’ve been sitting here, reading “news” posts and listening to sound bites from various politicians. I’m shaking my head until I almost gave myself whiplash. I’ve asked myself a few questions.

1. When was the last time I believed ANY POLITICIAN?
2. What LIES and rations of half truths (LIES) will spew from their lips?

I can not remember the last time I believed anything any one of them have said. Wow, that’s sad.

I’ve no faith in the government or the politicians who were “elected” for the people and by the people. When it appears that they just don’t give a fuck about the people. (Sorry for the profanity. No I’m not sorry.) Wow….

✌️I don’t need to move anywhere. Because it appears that all governments are corrupt.✌️

Happy Monday ya’ll!

Another short one.

Two things submitted for your consideration.

1. I am not a “psycho control freak.” I like order. That’s it! It doesn’t have to be my way. (“Order” is relative.)

2. Calling me “weird” is not the back handed compliment/insult you may think. I am unlike others in your life because I refuse to cater to and comply with societal fads and whims. If my refusal means that I’m “weird” then HELL YEAH I’M WEIRD.

✌️

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Sigh, heavy sigh

I’ve lost my “spark.” I know it. I feel it. It’s gone. I’ve tried to no avail to re-ignite it, but it’s gone. The things that gave me some measure of joy, those things mean nothing to me now or the amount of pleasure derived from these things has diminished. I mouth words of affection and adoration, but the feeling behind them is hollow. I mean them, but the passion and emotional energy is feigned.

I am reminded of some lyrics from the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel! I want the fire back!

Oh well, a pui tardi.

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ARRRRGH!!!

There are times when I become so angry that I could “bite rocks and spit sand.” I am so bloody angry that a throat punch is the nicest thing I can think of right now.
“I thought you are ‘of peace’.”
Just because I’m ‘of peace’ doesn’t mean that I can’t experience, embrace and acknowledge the anger. The BIG thing is NOT ACTING ON THE ANGER.

— Mindful breathing helps.
— Cursing in a foreign language helps and is kinda funny, especially when one starts hurling made up profanities.
— Putting finger to touchscreen also works to extinguish the flames of anger.
— Telling the person who angered you what he/she did is the best!

So, I’ve done those things.
I’ve meditated, breathed in helpful energy, exhaled the less than helpful.
Had a huge glass of iced lemon water…yummers!

And now the anger has passed. I’ve sought forgiveness from the Universe for spewing such bile. (LOL, jejejeje giggling for a completely different reason) and my stony expression has returned (as opposed to my death gaze expression or even worse, my stare through you expression.)

Well, since I’m here, I might as well visit my drafts folder..

✌️ ❤️ and 🎸🎸

a pui tardi!

I AM of peace.

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I will admit, Fear has entered my heart

I’ve been relying heavily on the Litany against Fear of late…

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

ZOMG! I’m feeling a photo/quote mash-up in the near future.

It is not my goal to be cryptic, but I am SUPER excited about something that will change my life…forever! However, along with the excitement, Fear hovers in the background. In two weeks or so (I’ve created an alert to remind me to revisit this) I’ll be in a much better position to share. I hope.

I am also calling upon my many bookmarks and electronic post it notes of quotes, affirmations and incantations.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie

The above quote rings so clearly to me as just a few days ago I realised that I had been stuck in “second gear.” I was stuck because I allowed Fear in. Fear clouded my mind with indecision. The moment, the SECOND after I made a move…I was ready for the next step.
Well, I can only beat this horse so much. (No, I don’t beat animals) With that said…

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.” Benjamin Franklin

Now, let’s switch gears. I knew that I was ill. I NEVER had any idea just how ill I was. That was until I reviewed my medical records. We are talking about major systems shutdown. According to the records, I was a member of the walking dead. WOWZERS! When the staff voice their surprise and awe that I still walk amongst them I now know why.

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A suggestion, if you have access to or can get access to your medical records, you should do so. If for nothing else to have an idea of what all of those tests really mean. Plus, I understand that it can be used to communicate with your healthcare professional. THAT would be awesome because as symptoms happen they can be documented and addressed at your next appointment. The possible uses for are endless. I’ve used that information to put on a “carry always” medical info card. Because my mobile locks itself after five minutes. (I also carry a flash drive with most recent MRI and CT scans and medications) I like to prepare just in case something happens and I am unchaperoned.

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Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever read something that just made you feel creepy, gross? Well, I have. A few days ago, I read a profile that just made my flesh crawl. The oddest thing is that there wasn’t really anything particularly harsh or profane. I just felt…..yucky after reading it.

I can’t think of anything else to prattle on about. So I’m going to end with an Alanis Morissette song mash-up…

nothing owed

I wake up and first things first
I’m of service
I make sure your needs are met, I’m so selfless
I give hard and serve hard and now I, I need a break
I give in, I give all and now it’s time to regenerate

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

Today’s all about me, all about how I’m feeling
Today’s all about me learning how, how to receive
How to receive,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

the WILL and the WORD….

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