Just from where do our thoughts come? :-)

Ok, please check out Internal Luminosity for more background. But to fast forward, there were a series of questions at the end of the blog and the last on made me wonder, so, I am using that as a jump off for my return.

Here are my answers ……

How does your brain work?
I went through several answers until I came up with BASIC programming.
What is the desired outcome?
Do I possess the correct tools to achieve desired outcome?
If “Y” the goto line 9
And then at line 9 one set of instructions
If “N” then goto line 20
And at line 20, a completely different set of algorithms ( is that clear? )

When is your thinking most productive?
Oddly, any time of the day. I can be hiking a trail, talking with friends, peeling potatoes, gardening, listening to music, reading http://internal-luminosity.blogspot.com and BOOYAKITTY (that is my version of an Oprah “Aaa-ha” moment).

What do you do when your thinking is challenged or stops working?
I tend to do a few things. I will either walk away from it for a while; or research the issue. Perhaps I’m missing something that would make the picture clearer.
Ask myself, if I am having this much difficulty with…., should I give it more thought?
When all else fails, I sleep on it.

How do you navigate challenges in your thinking?
Frustration
Then I re-evaluate and the BASIC kicks in.

From where do your thoughts originate?
Perhaps this will answer this question.
My thoughts start in space. As they enter the grav field and are slowly pulled to Earth, the fluff and whimsy are burned off. And when it finally finds itself in my head, BASIC kicks in.

You know what? As I look back at that answer….I’m not thinking that’s not right. Where do my thoughts originate? I now query myself, because there have been times when a thought has entered my mind, something that I would never think about as SOP. And I will often stop shake my head and ask, “Where in the hell did that thought come from?” (yeah, crappy grammar and all)

I have to….think about this..BOOYAKITTY, what if our thoughts are just a cumulative….no not the word…an agglomeration of what we’ve read, heard, been told, lived and live..the sum of our life experiences and those a round us?

Now I am here, wondering …and this just came to mind…as situations/opportunities arise, based on life experiences …..naaah

So, what do you think? From where do our thoughts originate? I’m perplexed – or am I?

a pui tardi

✌

You know me and my tests.

This is another mobile test. I am not sure if one can compose a blog sans Internet connection and store it as a saved document. I guess we shall see.

Confirmation. It can be done. With a twist….images can not be uploaded without Internet.

Well I am aflight. Is that a word? Uneventful to say the least. Saw a great view of the area surrounding ORF. Unfortunately, I could not take any snaps as all electronic devices had to be powered down off.

There is a screaming kid present. Yay!

Met this sailor whilst waiting for my connection. They’ve “lost” his reservation so now he has to wait. No worries for him. He’s just happy to go home for the holidays. The point of me telling you that? He’s sharing his power strip with me. He reminded me that’s am travelling without a surge protector.

You do realise that I am just killing time. So here are a few photos and pieces of “art.”

$6.99 for this…..I forgot to bring the jerky packs given to me by Jay Gill for Christmas.

The Lady Sarah and Lord Byron. If you’ve ever visited my YouTube channel you know who these tykes are.

I think this is the longest blog I’ve actually written. Perhaps I should fly more often.

The males are the brothers Godfrey (MORCHEEBA) and the lady… Skye Edwards. I <3 her.

Skye Edwards (born Shirley Klaris Yonavieve Edwards, 27 May 1972) is a British singer-songwriter, born in East London. Her career began in 1994 when she and the Godfrey brothers (DJ Paul Godfrey and multi-instrumentalist Ross Godfrey) formed the band Morcheeba, which released five albums with Skye as lead vocalist. When Skye parted from the band in 2003, she released two solo albums: Mind How You Go – 2006, and Keeping Secrets -2009. Edwards returned to Morcheeba as lead vocalist In 2010.

Last but not least. A few weeks ago (actually it is a few days ago, I went to Oglebay Park I’m Wheeling, WV. Here are a few shots….I think.

For reason I can not access my “cloud.” That means that I can’t share the WV images yet.

Well, enough for now.

a pui tardi

ON THE BLOODY INTERNET!!!!

I am a bit angry no perhaps angry is a bit strong.

Just received an “event” alert about a major change in a friends life. AND I FIND OUT ON FACEBOOK. WTF?????

A new app, hummmmmm

Happiness = Security … or does it?

Wow, once more into the fire.

Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?

Well, my “security” was taken away today.

(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)

Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”

But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…

Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”

“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”

Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions…..so many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.

Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )

Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )

Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)

Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)

Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)

But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”

So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?

Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?

Oh well, a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.

What does America mean to me?

now, I’m wondering how many of these are actually lost or perhaps combined or even used on another day. Oh well, “lost post # ???”

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Emma Lazarus, 1883

That is my first thought….

strani sogni e ricordi / Strange dreams and memories

Ok, ciao, su che cosa è?
Now, for the past few nights, I’ve been in bed and asleep by 5p only per “svegliare” a un’ora empi. Whatever!

I’ve been using binaural energy to induce various states of “rest.” Last night I used the “remember” frequency. Don’t know what I hoped to remember, just wanted to see what it would do. Let’s FLASHFORWARD to a few hrs ago. I recalled with perfect clarity what I wanted to say to a languages professor DECADES AGO, but didn’t. I saw the day, what I wore, what she wore, the look on faces…as if I were reliving it again.

I recalled a conversation I had years ago. That recollection saddened me, because-well another path was taken and …

E ‘solo strano, that these two distinct, let’s take a trip back in time to … happened after listening to that certain frequency. Now as I type hurriedly, I wonder if by combining one or two of said frequencies, what effect, if any will it have on a subject. Let’s say we combine “sleep and dream” and “remember”. Humm,

What are binaural frequencies?
Binaural beats or binaural tones are auditory processing artifacts, or apparent sounds, the perception of which arises in the brain for specific physical stimuli. This effect was discovered in 1839 by Heinrich Wilhelm Dove, and earned greater public awareness in the late 20th century based on claims that binaural beats could help induce relaxation, meditation, creativity and other desirable mental states. The effect on the brainwaves depends on the difference in frequencies of each tone, for example, if 300 Hz was played in one ear and 310 in the other, then the Binaural beat would have a frequency of 10 Hz.

Have we discussed my animal guide? My animal token?

Beautiful creature, no?

I’ve been thinking about the Three Universal “Truths”. We’ll discuss those later.

Went through some old movies I hadn’t watched in a while and DUNE caught my eye….

The litany against fear is an incantation used by the Bene Gesserit to focus their minds and calm themselves in times of peril. The litany is as follows:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

a pui tardi

but I don’t know what politics is

And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.

I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje

I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!

¤
Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.

¤¤
I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print

¤¤¤
Confession time…
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now

¤¤¤¤
If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”

¤¤¤¤¤
My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…

and finally

aquarius

We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.

peace and long life

From my morning walk

the WILL and the WORD.

ahh, that early A.M. quiet..

there is nothing like it.

I love this time of the morning. omgoodness,

nobody on the roads
nobody on the streets

hehehe

but seriously, this is the time of the day that makes having to deal with the shyte . . . worth it. now is the time when I allow my mind to wander.

senarios are played through.
there are times when I just listen.

was it Vena who said that the world is abuzz with conversation, all you have to do is listen? humm time to re-read RETURN TO ONE.

funny (why do we say “funny” when we aren’t telling a joke?) how when I remember a quote or something, instead of looking JUST for that quote, I re-read the entire piece. (see, that wasn’t “funny” at all)

well the goddess is telling me that I am dragging this out. (how, I just lost a large chunk of text)

type to you later!

our mind and our delusions are formless and colourless. however, our ignorance believing in true existence is harder than a rocky mountain. our felusions are harder than steel.
– Lama Zopa Rinpoche,”The Door to Satisfaction”