A photo blog – Olde Towne Portsmouth (Virginia)

Today’s blog is dedicated to…http://intheheartofhappy.com

These snaps were taken today in Olde Towne Portsmouth. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portsmouth,_Virginia

After a great lunch with ……https://www.facebook.com/thisisHomeGirl, Owner/Operator of She Bakes(https://www.facebook.com/pages/She-Bakes/310561088990716?ref=ts) at

The food was great! The service EXCELLENT! The company….Uberawesome!!!

http://www.commodoretheatre.com/index.php

And here are a few of my new GetGlue stickers.

a pui tardi

Got the Sandalwood burning…

I’m ♫ soundtracking “Becoming More Peaceful” by Nawang Khechog http://sdtk.fm/x1g8zN

Had a delightful dinner with some really good people. And I behaved myself. I had the fruit bowl.
What is the APOD (Astronomy Picture Of the Day)?

Opportunity Rover Spots Greeley Haven on Mars

Image Credit: Mars Exploration Rover Mission, Cornell, JPL, NASA

changing the subject

The discussion of legalising marijuana in the Commonwealth of Virginia has or is rearing its head again……

Of course, the nay Sayers use as their “drive the nail home point” that they wouldn’t want buzzed people on the roads. I started to wonder…..

We probably pass (on our respective highways 100s if not 1000s of people, already high on….

. just sayin’

My next topic…..

I have discovered that if I am to avoid hurting the feeling of a few of those closest to me; I’ve discovered that I must cease and desist all authentic communication with them and basically lie to them. Wait a mo..not lie, but interpret the “facts” of a moment based on their world view and then agree with that skewed (notice,I didn’t say warped, fucked up, idiotic, just where the hell do you live) point of view. I’m up for the challenge.

It’s the year of the Dragon….

This is what my “horoscope” says. (I found this on the web somewhere.)
Thank goodness for open spaces, because the Horse needs plenty of room to roam! true
Energetic, good with money and very fond of travel, Horses are the nomads of the Chinese Zodiac, roaming from one place or project to the next. yes, ok, yes
All of this Sign’s incessant activity and searching may be to satisfy a deep-rooted desire to fit in. don’t know about this
Paradoxically, Horses feel a simultaneous yearning for independence and freedom. true
Horses crave love and intimacy, which is a double-edged sword since it often leads them to feel trapped. don’t know about “crave.”
Love connections tend to come easily to Horses, since they exude the kind of raw sex appeal that is a magnet to others. oh really now? REALLY?
This Sign tends to come on very strong in the beginning of the relationship, having an almost innate sense of romance and seduction. Horses are seducers in general; check out any A-list party and you’re bound to find the Horse in attendance. This Sign possesses a sharp wit and a scintillating presence; it really knows how to work a crowd. ok, yeah
Surprisingly, Horses tend to feel a bit inferior to their peers, a misconception that causes them to drift from group to group out of an irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud. inferior re: how to handle social situations where strong emotions are involved, yeah
An impatient streak can lead Horses to be less than sensitive to others’ needs. I am probably the MOST patient man on the planetThese colts would rather take a situation firmly in hand as opposed to waiting for others to weigh in or come to terms with it. OK
The lone wolf inside the Horse can at times push others away, but this also makes this Sign stronger and is a key to its success. most time I manage to push people into the arms of another. A story for another day.
Horses are self-reliant and, though they might lose interest fast in a tedious, nine-to-five day job, are willing to do the work necessary to get ahead. true
Horses tend not to look much at the big picture; instead they just follow their whims, which can result in a trail of prematurely ended relationships, jobs, projects and so on. nyet! I always take the “big picture” into consideration
This Sign really knows how to motivate others, though, and get a lot accomplished.
Once they find some peace within themselves my never ending search, they can curb their wandering tendencies and learn to appreciate what’s in their own backyard.

Ok….really?

Well, I’m outta here like spit through a trumpet!

a pui tardi

It’s Friday night and…

#nbccommunity
#V
#weareofpeace
#modernfamily
#marvel
#sixseasonsandamovie
#cougartown

Drew, WTFrak?
This is the Frak, I’m going through the photo stream and picking images and then below hashtaging my “thoughts” when I look at it the image.

Is there a “spell checking” NEVERMIND….I told you I wasn’t a complete load…

#conjureone
#jeangrey
#thephoenix
#spiderphoenix

oops, wow, it’s 4:40 am…..it was only 8:00 when I started this. Can’t believe that I literally fell asleep at my desk.

a pui tardi

Wow and it is just 08:19…

And I’ve already ridden the roller coaster of emotions.

I awoke smiling, humming and then singing ( 99.9% of the time that’s how I greet the world. Now keep in mind, that is only when I am alone. If others are around…DON’T BREATHE TOO HEAVILY OR I WILL CUT YOU DOWN WITH AN ICY GLARE).

But now, as I did the morning washing up (which was light as all I had was a lightly toasted bagel, a thinly sliced, lightly peppered English cucumber and a cuppa) I burst into tears. Why? For a brief moment, I caught a whiff of my mothers scent and felt…..something.

Memories, this time last year…..she and I were walking the streets of Atlanta, looking at the snow.

Alrightythen

Wow

a pui tardi

Let’s see if I can lighten the mood a bit.

Happiness = Security … or does it?

Wow, once more into the fire.

Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?

Well, my “security” was taken away today.

(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)

Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”

But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…

Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”

“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”

Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions…..so many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.

Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )

Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )

Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)

Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)

Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)

But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”

So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?

Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?

Oh well, a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.

Complications …

Why do we complicate the simple?

Snaps

Digi-art
 that is not the digi-art. I just want to see if these icon things translate/transfer to the blog as an image or as code. 

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







but I don’t know what politics is

And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.

I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje

I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!

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Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.

¤¤
I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print

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Confession time…
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now

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If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”

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My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…

and finally

aquarius

We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.

peace and long life

chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment and…

We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains – chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment – in a word, Circumstance – and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain ”. Mark Twain

¤
I’ve been making my lists. Today, I am positioning myself to make a move.

My first step, change my job hunting techniques. I am devoting four hours a day, five days a week looking for a meaningful position. What’s the change? Before, between tweets and blogging, I spent almost eight hrs a day looking. (No kidding, I spent a workday, looking for a meaningful position). Why the cutback? I was driving myself crazy revamping resumes, following up on every lead given. So, a step back may be required.

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Reconnecting with something other than a keyboard.

I watched an episode of ABC’s Modern Family and was fascinated by the “unplugged” episode. (Actually, I LOVE that show. The characters are…)
So, I am going to task myself. I am going to blot out a few hrs a day to completely disconnect. Mobile will be tuned off; laptop powered down, not even using the iPod. Humm, I’ll get to use that fancy paper journal.

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My blog/vlog buddy…

www.phoenixne.wordpress.com

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Television, I’ve rediscovered it and am loving it. Some of my favourite shows, in no particular order.

A.) Being Human (I love the UK version. The US version is growing on me.)
B.) Shameless (see the above. The UK version ROCKS!)
C.) Cougar Town
D.) Modern Family
E.) Community
F.) Outsourced
G.) Hot in Cleveland
H.) Grey’s Anatomy
I.) Brothers and Sisters
J.) The Avengers: the animated series
K.) Young Justice (when did Aqualad become black?)
L.) V

Wow, that is quite a list.

“Love one another, but make not a love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Kahlil Gibran

peace and long life

the worst is over….or is it

cough
gag
what the hell is this
spittle
is it supposed to be that colour
spring has come with a vengeance
you know what your problem is
no, but i am sure you are going to tell me
you are..
too trusting
too strict
too forgiving
too hateful
too secretive
too optimistic
too pessimistic
you are weak
thats what you are
weak
a pitiful pitiful man
anger
hurt
disappointment
hummm
everyday is a fight
but i’ve said that before
whew, when do i get to retire
to sit in my rocker
knit useless garments
tell stories about when…
remember the days of old
when mom and dad could make everything that goes bump in the night right again
those days
was it really that easy
did they have a special power
no, not really, after all it was nothing
the fears of a small child
but lets talk about today
some 40+ years later
lets talk about
love
life
work
family
friends
fear
concern
loneliness
solitude
(yes, there is a difference)
art
music
things that move me to my core
i move
i navigate
through this thing called … life
la vita nuova (humm where)
Dante, you idiot, that’s where
oh yeah

so today
i make the best of it
i keep my chin up
i smile, i frown
after all
the worst is over
or is it