Ok, for a moment I was about to freak. Why? Affordable driving school pulled up in front of the house. Why would I freak? I don’t know. So, moving on…
Yeah, there is an error, however……
I saw that on the web and thought I’d share.
Category: LOL
Like this:
Wow, once more into the fire.
Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?
Well, my “security” was taken away today.
(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)
Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”
But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…
Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”
“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”
Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions…..so many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.
Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )
Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )
Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)
Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)
Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)
But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”
So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?
Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?
Oh well, a pui tardi!
I am of peace…most of the time.
Like this:
Yep, cleaned out the ole drafts folder. Too many fragmented thoughts. Issues -that worth commenting on THEN, that aren’t terribly important now.
As I started my hydration sequence this morning, questions started to pop into my head. Questions like,
Why can’t you blog everyday?
Why won’t you blog everyday?
For “complete happiness” (whatever that may be) what would I be willing to give up?
Can I help someone who does not want to be helped?
Why should I even care?
When am I going to work on developing a “normal” sense of humour?
Can a person be too smart/intelligent? (I think I’ve asked this before)
Is it ego? Why can’t {insert name} just see that I am “right?”
All of that whilst having a bottle of water. Wowsers!
Ora, un tentativo di rispondere a poche, se quelle domande.
But in no particular order. 
Of late, I am having to ask people to explain their “jokes” to me. I just don’t get them. It’s a wee be disconcerting when someone has to tell you, “thats supposed to be funny.” my response, a furrowed brow and a delayed laugh (if I like you) or my usual, “how is that funny?” Now don’t get me wrong, I find many things hilarious. I am chuckling right now. So the development of a sense-a normal sense- of humour is on the list.
This is a two-fer. I am he. He is me. We are..
This is an easy one. For “complete happiness” [whatever that is] I would give up….
I do have a lot to say. I have thoughts, ideas, moments of “clarity” – my BOOYAKITTY moments. But, just because I can say it, should I?
Yeah it is. However, there is something to learn from the experiences of others. It’s not really about being “right” or “wrong”.
Il gioco è fatto.
a pui tardi
Like this:
And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.
I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje
I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!
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Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.
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I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print
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Confession time…
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now
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If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”
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My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…
and finally
aquarius
We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.
peace and long life
Like this:
YOU ALL ARE FIRED!
Why, did I just find out TODAY, that James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, is dead?
Why??? LOL, not laughing at his death, just the fact that I am THREE years behind.
Anyone else I should know about?
Kinda says it all.
it is poor form to eat from one’s own waste paper bin? OK screw “poor form.” Is it tacky? Now, NOT the PUT ON THE STREET GARBAGE BIN, the one under your desk, where the last bit of sweet potato crisps just called your name…they were on top.
I am NOT saying that I did that. well, I did, but I am not saying it!
