What’s on my mind, today 18 January 2012?

Hook (http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com,) I have a slight crush, not on Jean Grey, but The Phoenix Force itself! lol

But that isn’t what’s on my mind.

I am a bit bothered by the “fact” that the United States government, instead of focusing its energies on:

Unemployment
The National Debt
Homelessness
Hunger
Hate crimes
Crime in general
I will most likely add to this list as the day progresses
Healthcare for ALL citizens
The “Immigration Conundrum”
Our declining education system
Developing/Releasing the cures to AIDS, cancer, and other illnesses

Our government, my government chooses to focus on..”

What is downloaded/uploaded/posted to the Internet? Really???

Yes, it is a rather simplistic view, but, well……..

(yes, I am familiar with the issues of pirating, intellectual property, royalties, etc. but isn’t that kinda silly? Kinda makes one wonder what’s really behind this.

Just sayin’

a pui tardi

DISCLAIMER:I found the image of The Phoenix on the web. Legalese, latin phrases related to law and free speech, yada yada ya and so forth.

5 and 50 – a few observations

Hi, hello! Hiya!

Well, in two days I’ve participated in two life marking events; a fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration (yeah, there are a few people who take their wedding vows seriously) and a birthday party for a five year old girl. Both were ….WOWZERS. To see a living testament of love, fidelity and commitment was and still is amazing. On the other hand, to see the wonder and awe in the eyes of a five year old and then in a flash, see her grow from child to young girl, to woman…wow.

Moving on…

My UK guru has done it again. What has she done? She taught me a lesson. The lesson she “taught” on expectations. I’m driving the expressway— BOOYAKITTY! Expectation – My read on her “lesson”; if one puts an expectation on something or someone, a “limit” has been set, opinions start to form – thoughts start to form – helpful or unhelpful thoughts/opinions. So, mentally we have already set ourselves up before an event even happens.

(It’s actually more profound in my head as opposed to on screen). That’s all! I just thought My UK guru has done it again.

next……

Grief. Wow, I am always amazed at how freely people give advice about grief. Hey how about this…just leave the grieved alone (unless they’re suicidal or something.). But offering anecdotes about how you got over this or that. Well, yippie bloody doo for you! And as I write this the thought comes….the level of grief, I believe, is proportionate to the level of love, adoration and respect one has for the decedent. and now the voice is gone

Oops, I’ve to go. I’m needed in another place in time.

Ciao ciao.

a pui tardi!

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

A few things today.

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

“This is the best that I can do without being fake. Honestly, I lack the emotional skills to be any happier than I am right now. I am sorry that this is not enough for you.”

My response to recent news that would have anyone else jumping for joy and shouting it from the rooftops. That is just not how I behave and to ask me to otherwise, well I won’t do that. So, deal with it!

Now don’t get me wrong, it registered, and I felt, but not enough to make a spectacle of myself. But that lead me to other thoughts and social scenes where my lack of affect made me stand out like a sore thumb.

People just don’t get that it is a MAJOR chore for me to do anything socially. It isn’t for fear of using the wrong fork or saying the wrong thing (well actually it does have more to do with saying the wrong thing, but that goes with the not understanding the intricacies of humour and wit.)

Oh well, kinda over that topic.

Last week was a busy one. Wasn’t able to get to the gym, but, had a week-long workout. With the digging and shovelling, moving this here and there, and mowing and raking. Well you get the hint. I just can’t wait until the new week started. In addition, I was able to take many of the things learned in the gym and apply them at home I will be able to return to my regular schedule. I like the break in routine; yet, returning to a set pattern is much anticipated. However, I am going to add something to that schedule. I will start riding my bike again 1st thing in the morn.

Next…..

“What are you, a fucking witch?” Not just a witch, but a “fucking” one at that!

I seem to attract the curious/hateful ones. I just don’t know why. I guess its the same as how children, animals and old people seem to flock to me. So, I am going to answer your questions in order received. Some answered with a question, just to see if you are paying attention.

1. When will we move past labels? Define witch.
2. I think this is a joke; at least I hope so? I have never ridden a broom and I don’t know anyone who has. I’ve seen a few people jump a broom or two, but ride, can’t say that I have. Do you realise how silly that would look? I mean REALLY. If anything, I like to go on a magic carpet ride. did ya get that or is it soaring overhead on a broom?
3. I do not own, not have I ever owned a cauldron. I have done some cauldron work. Just to see what the hoopla was about. Wasn’t impressed.
4. Spells, incantations, yeah I know a few. You know a few prayers don’t ya? Kinda the same thing. If you really look at it. Really, requesting something from an “external/internal” source.
5. No, I can’t turn anyone into anything. REALLY. You’ve been watching too much Bewitched or Charmed or any of those shows that show stuff like that. But wouldn’t that be a hoot! Someone does something annoying and “poof” you’re a toad. But consider this, toads multiply at a ferocious rate. I’d much rather have one person not like me than 1,000s. (not an original thought, but…)
6. I have never sacrificed a small human or animal. I don’t Yeah, the folklore says that “witches” make sacrifices to…
7. No, I DO NOT WORSHIP SATAN. I mean, come on dude (or dudette), REALLY??? Stop watching late night television. Do you know how to use google?
8. Do I believe in God? (Which one because it appears that there are as many Gods as there are religions and just as many “holy texts”?) and it appears that more crap is done in “his name,” than in any pagan god’s name. Think about it!
9. Will I go to “heaven or hell?” Honestly, this place in which we live is hell to me. Pain, despair, hunger, war, disease, pestilence …. What is the difference betwixt my “hell” and your “hell?” As for the other place, I guess we shall see. Or will I?
10. Since I like myself soooo much, I’ve never found/seen the need to do the “coven” thing. Considering that I do not feel the need to do any group worship service thing, that would not appeal to me.
11. Yes, I’ve danced naked by the pale moonlight. IN THE PRIVACY OF MY HOME. I actually got that one. It’s a quote from one of those Batman films.

So I am thinking this is a joke. But it has been fun.

Oh, I do not like name droppers.

••••••

Do I look like an unlettered country oaf? Why do people think I am well, stupid? Why are they amazed at what I know?

a pui tardi

The voice speaks of an … Endless Dream – Conjure One

Music plays a HUGE part of my life. I draw from it – lessons, meaning and answers.

It’s all coming back to me now
That strange and almost endless dream
Where I was you and you were me
You opened up your eyes and I could see
That you were falling from the world
As aimless as a shooting star in orbit around me
Thinking I was somebody else
And terrified to look at me and see yourself, well…

You are like a dream
And I am just a trip that you are on
When the trip is over you will go back
To the places that you once beloved
You will look for comfort there
And when you do you’ll find that it has gone
That is when you’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And then you’ll know my love

So don’t be afraid
Your heart is in me
And it’s racing so fast now
‘Cause everything we ever were or ever will be
Is shapeless as a changing cloud
Your letter written on the sky
I’m needing now to read it through my eyes
When you see just what I see
Then tenderly watch it change
And just let it be

‘Cause I am like a dream
And you are just a trip that I am on
When the trip is over I will go back
To the places that I once beloved
And I will look for comfort there
And when I do I know it will be gone
That is when I’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And then I’ll know your love

…so quiet now…

This is just some trip that we are on
When the trip is over we will think of this
As someplace that we once beloved
When I find no comfort here
I’ll look again to find it in your arms
That is where I’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And that’s where I know love

but I don’t know what politics is

And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.

I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje

I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!

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Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.

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I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print

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Confession time…
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now

¤¤¤¤
If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”

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My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…

and finally

aquarius

We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.

peace and long life

From my YT archives…A response to the creative urge…

the weekend and proof positive I am bent

humm, now tell me this isn’t twisted. I went from waking to the sound of David snoring (oops according to him, he doesn’t snore) in the living room, to realising that he has yet to cook ANYTHING over the weekend. the brownies do not count
the twisted part. I went from those “happy” thoughts to telling him I wanted to bash his head in…what did he do to warrant that??? the only thing he did was say morning, what are you doing. WTF hot and cold/fire and ice. wtf is all I can say.

I have no idea why.