Another rough night

A phone call to ask
“how are you”
my memories
tossed away like yesterdays trash
anger over that
its like moving through syrup
no let’s use mud
looking at it now
like looking through fog
I see what I am doing
I hear what I am saying
but I can’t stop
but the anger wells up
why am I so angry
now let’s have a mini pity party
you have done NOTHING
NOTHING to warrant my
harsh words
my waspish remarks

1, 2, 3, 4
and in my heart of hearts
(just what in the hell does that mean)
I feel the same way
but something prevents me
did I mention the pain
is that an excuse
the physical pain
the constant throb
the constant reminder that
“this is serious”
the question is always there
is today the day
a question
will I drive you away

its odd
I no longer have it
emotions in check
that is a joke

the weekend is here
what will it bring

another rough night
but today is a new day
I can’t wait
to spend just a few hours
basking in you
yeah the weekend is here.