i’ve lost my immunity to the cold…and other things

That I guess is one of the side affects to this reduced blood pressure thing. The increased sensitivity to cold and and a feeling of exhaustion. Neither of which I like. Honestly, I can deal with the exhaustion. But, that is neither here nor there.

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You know I’ve been doing this “examination of emotions” thing. I’ve learned (ok recognised) pettiness. I’ve recognised the “true” meaning of loneliness. (Well as defined by me).

Well today, I experienced… Intolerance.

Today, for a brief moment became the “ugly American.”

Today, in complete frustration, I yelled aloud (whilst on hold) why can’t I speak to someone who speaks English.

Now as I type this I realise a few things. Firstly, the person to whom I spoke, DID speak English. He just had a thick accent. One that, today I just didn’t want to ignore.

Secondly, perhaps I, no, not perhaps; I should not have phoned anyone when I was frustrated and (yeah, I admit it) I was just looking for a reason to snap – but there is a realisation there too.

wait a minute
wait for it

I do not know if this is true. But I am thinking that anger = fear.

I was afraid that the csr (customer service rep) would not resolve my issue and that the error would ending up costing me money that I had no wish to spend. So that fear manifested itself in anger at someone doing his job, to the best of his ability and through no fault of his own was faced with the ugly american called drew.

What have I learned?

Perhaps if I were better able to articulate my concerns…

and if I not been in a less than receptive mind set…
you see where this is going don’t you?

I am going to add something to the equation..

Anger=fear+frustration

🙂

Thanks again!

peace and long life

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One thought on “i’ve lost my immunity to the cold…and other things”

  1. The other day I was reading The Blog of Henry David Thoreau which posts entries from Thoreau’s diaries. Usually the posts are all very whimsical – describing anature and the seasons and the simple hearts of country folk and so on – complete fluff intended to make the reader feel all warm and fuzzy. But in one entry Thoreau was really pissed off because two women had come to his hut, asked to borrow a water dipper, and then never returned it. I thought it was an interesting entry It showed that Thoreau was a human being and that despite all the work one might do on oneself, trying to become at peace with the world, sometimes things just happen that will make us snap.

    The people who commented on this post, however, seemed disappointed that Thoreau had gotten angry. A couple started trying to psycho-analyze Thoreau – Maybe he hated women? Maybe something else was bothering him? – they couldn’t accept that sometimes things just make you angry and that that is perfectly fine.

    Anyway, reading your entry today reminded me of that.

    Everyday I make mistakes. Hopefully I will make less tomorrow than I made today.

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