I try to post that whenever and wherever I can.
Bear with me, I’ve not worked from the desktop in a while. The feel of an actual keyboard is …odd.
Because I love Domo-kun.
OK, here we go…
Closure. Can we talk?
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call Timmy) who expressed that he wished that his friend (Billy) would talk about, a dark place in his life.
So, you know me. I asked,”What purpose would that serve him? Why would Billy wish to think about that period? Why would he want to re-live that? He has learned from it. He has become a much better person. He is actually happy; and, he has apparently moved on. Hell, he is thriving now as opposed to then. So why would he need to discuss that time?”
Now, here is the key, I think.
“Because I want him to discuss it so that I can have some closure.”
I am really startled. “Just why do you need closure on Billy’s problem? I am really curious to hear your answer to this.
Because, (reasons aren’t really relevant) but to sum it up. Timmy feels that because he went through those things with Billy, and that things were said about Timmy that “just weren’t true,” yada yada ya – ex-chetra (yeah, I know, watch Community)…..
“OK, do you not think Timmy has considered the source? Has he not apologised repeatedly? Has he not given you the ‘credit’ you’re due?”
I see where this is going so I raise a finger and say…
What you want, is to talk about YOU.
What YOU want is to talk about how YOU feel/felt.
What YOU want is to be the centre of attention.
If YOU need to discuss it, why don’t YOU talk to a therapist?
I thought you did those things out of concern, love and affection. Not to have something to bring up everytime you have an opportunity just so that you can say what you’ve done, and how you helped….
So “closure” is it really for the “victim/survivor” or their “friends?”
a pui tardi