Adult Truths

I found this in my inbox this morning. Several made me chuckle, others made me LOL. The parenthetical elements are my additions.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (and to remove all porn)

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. ( yeah, when that light comes on, I just nod and say you’re right)

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. (I want a nap right now)

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (I agree, because sometimes CAPS just aren’t enough)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (really??? You DON’T know how to fold a fitted sheet. Tsk, tsk tsk)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (yes it was and is)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (LOL, one day just for s&g I followed those directions. It took me through the back way….why???)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (yeah, I am tired reading about how someone has gone on to meet his/her “heavenly” father. Thing is I know him and he was meaner than a rattlesnake. Satan cringes when his/her name is mentioned.)

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. (Hell, I am tired now. Think I’ll have a nap. JK)

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (yes they do but nothing you EVER want to share with your kids)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (yeah, so you spend the day shifting papers from one side of your desk to the other)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection … again. (Blue Ray what’s that? I still have a few VHS tapes knocking about)

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (I have found myself screaming but I made no changes!!! I save it anyway because the moment I don’t something will crash)

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (you too????)

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (mine does and I STILL can’t find what I want)

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (why do I hear that jingle in my head RIGHT NOW!!)

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. (it does, just choose highway route. It takes you twice as long to get to your destination, but…..)

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (I just combine the two)

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? (thrice is my cut off. If I can’t make any sense by then, well, what’s the point?)

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty (and jeans especially), and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (usually my clue that I am bored with ….)

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey; but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3-feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. (yessirreebob)

24. People who forward e-mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered! (true, I am leading this bandwagon. Norma, Donna line up ladies!)

25. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (that just isn’t true…. Is it?)

Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.

Enjoy life!!!

a pui tardi

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