because I do not want to be “alone. If something should burst or pop … whatever it could do, will do…I won’t be found -partially decomposed.
Don’t misunderstand, there are other, less selfish reasons I remain tethered. But the main one is that, although I’ve been “prepared” to die since I’m 12/14, I’m not, I don’t want to be alone.
Of late, I’ve been thinking about children and how I don’t have any. Not that I want any now…are you crazy??? 😆
I have become “that guy.” If I want to recall something of great import; I must make a note. That became even more apparent Sunday. I had to ask the server his name, at least four times.
I have been getting out and about more and more. My days are carefully mapped out to allow maximum enjoyment for me and minimal discomfort ..well, for me. 😊
To be perfectly “honest” with you, other than this thing in the head, for once in what seems like a very long time, I feel fine. NO LIE😜😆😀 I’m feeling so fine, that next week, I’m resuming my workout. Oh yeah baby! 💪💪
I have started downsizing. My once full closets are looking kinda sparse. I’ve been able to give a lot of my trousers to a friend. I’ll never wear a 40 again ( \o/ yay!! \O/) and some shirts! I’ve suitcases of stuff to go through. I’ve also been shredding old documents, letters, cards whatever like I’m an old world spy or something. 👤
Well, I’m off out!
a pui tardi!
Weavings, musings and things... 
I’m glad you feel fine Drew, and that you’re enjoying some out and about time. Also that you’re doing some clearing, which can be really cathartic in a curious way.
Preparing to die is such a weird one. I know what you mean (or I think I do). Preparation of a theoretical kind is so very different from doing it for real. I’ve been pondering that a little myself recently, though as far as I’m aware not with any sense of its impending reality.