But I don’t know you.

Let’s get to the meat of this blog. I am faced with a decision. This is a decision that honestly has me stumped.

I have to have a conversation with a few people that I never thought I would have to have at this stage of my life. The “stumped” part. No matter how I phrase it, no matter how many bows I wrap around it, feelings will be hurt and angry words will be said in the heat of the moment. I’d like to point out that these hurt feelings and angry words won’t be mine.

After 30+ years, people who share my genetic material want to reach out and become a “family.” AFTER 30+ YEARS. Of course, I wonder why. Now, my brother, my younger brother, wants to reunite. It is my opinion that he has a romanticised view of the past, a past coloured by his youth, his want to have extended family and television programming which touts the joyousness of family life.

My problem, I have NO DESIRE to reconnect. NONE WHATSOEVER! I hold no bitterness or avarice toward any of them. I just don’t want to waste the emotional and physical energy. PERIOD! I will admit that I caved in and accepted a friend request but, I’ve made no attempt other than the initial “hello” via messenger.

The other stump, I do not want to ruin my brother’s reunion. People do change and perhaps they have. I think that it is important for him to try to develop a relationship with these people so that he can judge for himself. ZOMGoddess, it just occurred to me that he, my brother, wants me there just in case, the dream is in fact a nightmare. He will have someone on his “side.” That may or may not be true.

I’ll make make attempts to ….no I won’t. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to do a damn thing. I’m going to try a technique that I’ve seen many others use. I am not going to do anything. Of course I know that by not doing anything, that I am doing something. (Yes, I acknowledge my passive aggressive approach.)

I don’t know these people. 30 + years is a LOT of water under the bridge. I’ve NO warm and fuzzy feeling about a reunion. I’m feeling something. I just don’t know what I’m feeling. I do know that I believe that I have no desire to get to know these people. That’s it! PERIOD

I keep bumping on “feelings.” I wonder if this choice of inactivity is the correct choice. I wonder if I DO have some deep seeded…something. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

Oh well, the Universe shall guide and provide, she always does.

I AM of peace!

a pui tardí

PS. Hello Milady! How are you? You’ve been weighing heavily on my mind of late.

✌️

Well now, the old Drewster can’t seem to catch a break!!!

LOL! I’m laughing because if I don’t I’m going on a murderous rampage.

Well, it seems that the “life saving” drugs I’m taking all have an unexpected – no, undisclosed side affects. GOUT yes, the build-up of Uric Acid has reached the point where, jejeje, I can’t walk without SERIOUS pain. Oh, the other nasty side affect, KIDNEY STONES yay!!! \O/ I won’t share how I discovered that! Ewww

So, lets recap. I’ve an inoperable mass in my brain. I’ve lesions, I’m sorry a lesion, around the mass. As a result, my immune system is almost non-existent. The meds only make me sicker, but I’m “guaranteed” that this course of treatment is better than the alternative……death. I’m not sure about that. THIS SHIT BLOWS CHUNKS.

Changing the subject…. I think I’ve found a online storage site for the 5,000+ photos on my mobile and the 1,000+ on my tablet. That should free up some storage space. It’s called MyShoebox. It’s free and offers unlimited storage. With my luck, it will go out of business and I’ll lose all of my pics. Of course, I’ve kept a few on my devices. Images of my sainted mother 😄.

Humm, what else? The creative process; I’m going to give a “free flowing” and just let the images flow. We’ll see what happens.

Hey, anyone know how to “mass delete” photos from a tablet and mobile?

Hummm, I can’t think of anything else right now. So, until later…

I am of peace. ✌

Ciao ciao!!!