Category Archives: blogging

Six years or somewhere there about..

My life, as I knew it, changed. Wow, milady, talking about a delayed response.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was given some news that changed my life.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was told that I was going to die.

No, not by a Gypsy, Magic 8ball or a call from a psychic. I was told this by a team of physicians.

OK, PICTURE THIS. One minute you’re in the shower. You’re downstairs getting ready for Mother’s Day dinner with the family. The next minute, you wake up…in hospital…attached to machines and being probed and poked. Waking up, knowing that something just isn’t right.

Picture it, being told that you have to have this biopsy. You’ve several brain bleeds and what looks like a tumour. WOW, Tumour = cancer = brain = dead. That’s what I’m kinda thinking.  So let’s fast forward shall we. Oh, did I mention, that some how (digging in the dirt where animals poo) I picked up a parasite that is ADDING to the TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

Biopsy done…insert medical term..another medical term…inoperable.

Meetings, consultations, tests.

Weeks later, I’m home. I’m home, to die, with a satchel of meds. One to stop seizures. One to thin the blood. One to stop the parasite. One for blood pressure. One for something else that I can’t honestly remember. One, that, almost hastened my trip to the underworld.  All totalled, I was, at one point taking over 20 medications. NO BUENO!

Now, everyone around me has had their lives affected. Holiday plans put on hold. Constant monitoring because I couldn’t be left alone..Fall risk here.

Vomiting, constant pain, no energy, NOTHING. Meals were…interesting. The Lady Donna did her best to find foods that I could eat. No that’s not correct; food that I could keep down.

All the while, life continues at it usual pace. I’m waiting though…”You may be here Christmas,” was all I could hear.

 

To be continued…perhaps later today, perhaps tomorrow I’ll talk about having to tell friends and acquaintances…

 

take care

 

 

 

Advertisements

Wowzers! Really, I didn’t realise that it was THAT important 

This will be short.

It is MY OPINION, MY BELIEF, that I should not be made to feel as if I am less of a friend because I’ve not “liked” another picture of your sleeping baby that you’ve tweeted, pinned, posted on FB, whatever. And PLEASE DO NOT pull up that imagery show to me IF THE KID IS IN FRONT OF ME…….SLEEPING! WHY??? You’re asking for my look of condescension and wry humour. 

😂😂😂

A puí tardí

Parents just DON’T understand…  and some other stuff

… how their ill behaved children ruin any event. And no matter what lame ass excuses, rationalisations, theories you parents fabricate on the spot as to how little “Chris” never behaves like this at home. When we ALL know that is just a big LIE! If they behave horribly in a restaurant, in a park, in the time out zone, THEY BEHAVE HORRIBLY AT HOME.

… that some times – MOST times YOU are just TOO CLOSE to the situation. Listen to your friends who make suggestions. Reasonable suggestions mind you; Taking Kid One and using him to beat Kid Two, isn’t reasonable. A beautiful wish, but really unrealistic. 😜😂 HERE IS A FREEBIE FOR YOU. Perhaps, before leaving your home, use that Internet to research the menu so that you know what’s on it and then you can get your kid prepared BEFORE HAND. He’ll know what he want is available and there will be no surprises. Perhaps if you’d TRY this,  we, single, childless people who are, by now pissed off and hungry, well, we won’t have to wait … (while you explain the ingredients of each item to your precious bio-units) … to order.

… that if I have to choose betwixt either, sitting home, alone, contemplating the meaning of extraterrestrial life or visiting your sticky, cluttered, smelly home, littered with the flotsam and jet some the last “unexpected” breakdown of your precious progeny, smelly animals and overall disaster area that is your home …what do you think I’ll do?  You guys really need to understand. 😜😂😄

Once again, I must have the discussion about expectations and having them placed upon me without consultation or consideration. Does that need any elaboration?

I really ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ the greening of the planet. As everything starts to green and life starts to renew itself. I’ve a renewed burst energy. 

I’m feeling the need to share these days. Well, share as much as I will share! 

Let’s end this chapter. (I started writing this DAYS ago.)
A puí tardí 

Let’s see where this goes

looking out of my window, I realise that I’ve treated this blog just like I treat my handwritten journal. I use them -religiously – for days, sometimes weeks on end. Then, one day…BAM nothing.  And that of course, goes for weeks on end too! Of course, during those “nothing” periods, “something” is happening, but nothing that I’m willing to share—during the EVENT.

So, guys and gals, go put a kettle on, get your favourite biscuits and prepare to ask…WTF? 😜

  • I’ve been feeling “disconnected” lately. I was standing in the kitchen a few weeks ago. My housemate and I were doing our “dinner prep dance” then all of a sudden, the feeling of being disjointed – disconnected washed over me. There I was, standing in the middle of the kitchen, feeling apart of, yet removed from the activity around me. Why? Why? Hummmm, more about that later. 13 April- I’ve identified the feeling of disconnection. I should say that I think that I’ve identified it. For the past few years, I’ve been afraid of …the next step. As a result, I removed myself from day to day face to face interactions. I pay my bills online. I shop online. My meds are delivered to me. My health is monitored remotely. So, for all intents and purposes, I had no real reason to leave the house.  So, I’ve not really had any reason to engage or be engaged. As a result, those things that come so easily to others, I believe it is called “small talk” becomes a BLOODY chore. Of course that is just a thumbnail account.
  • I’ve been having these internal conversations. Now, I’ve had them before. Walking ones self through a procedure and stuff like that. Well, these internal conversations have been, what I now call, ” dark side, uncensored conversations” basically, those are the meanest, vilest, most “are you a FRAKING idiot for saying -insert topic- ?” kinds of conversations.  These, although disturbing, have actually assisted with my day to day interactions. That surprised the Koss out of me! LOL!!! 13 April- those internal conversations have become external and as a result, dare I say some realisations have been made. That if I could have and actually give voice to those thoughts then as a few of the “targets” have come to realise, the “shit must be bad.” Pity, that I had to paint the ugliest picture to affect change. That is a pity. 
  • …”There are some things about which I just don’t care. Can’t name them all here. Hummm. … … 😜”

“War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.” President Jimmy Carter

  • Let’s look through the ole leather bound to see, what I’ve forgotten. 
  • I’ve returned to my study of magic. I prefer ” magick.” More importantly, I’m back to the study of spells and talismen. That’s been an ongoing study for decades now. 
  • Ran into an old sci-fi club acquaintance. He and I would often debate: Immortality- Pros and Cons. And one of his thoughts, is that immortality was/is some type of fountain of youth. I, on the other, contend that one would still age, but at a certain point, organs would regenerate, yada yada ya. Then the voice said, he’s talking age, you’re talking passage of time. Aren’t they the same things? “Yes and no. However, I’ve not the energy to explain.

Instead of moving forward, mankind….some of mankind seems to be moving backward. I live in a state where it will be legal to refuse service to someone if the owner/manager feels that the patron violates some “moral” code of conduct. That law seems to be sweeping the country.  Most are focusing on only ONE aspect of this “moral” code. They’ve, I believe, yet to see how this can and will affect everyone.  14 April Can morals be regulated, legislated, dictated?  I’d like to think that I’m a pretty moral fella. However, I don’t feel the need to practise a “mainstream” religion. I don’t care if two men or women want to marry.  If the races want to mix and multiply, have at it! I don’t hate Muslims and don’t think that they are all “evil.” I don’t think that I have to accept any one deity I don’t want to accept.  Some of, many of my beliefs and philosophies are so counter to this “moral code.” I guess I’m screwed!   Moving on……..

I “prepared” for IT. IT didn’t happen.  IT will happen.  But now that IT didn’t/hasn’t happened, what to do? Of course, being grateful is first on the list, but “moving on and living” just doesn’t sum up the “what to do.” I think that is going to be a follow up discussion too.

  • What am I not in the business of? Yep, that’s right!!! LOL😜😂😄 I’m not in the business of being right or wrong. HOWEVER, it is rather pleasing to be right.  LOL, I know, how  unevolved am I? I’m human in this moment so litigate against me.  😜😃😄😝 with that said….

  • One of my TOP ONE MILLION PET PEEVES. People who have to constantly remind people “how much more intelligent and smart I am.” I just look and nod. All the while, I’m thinking, a real intellectual does not have to announce it – on a daily basis…several times a day and then seek confirmation.  LOL!  Meow meow
  • Sexuality and sex. gender identification and orientation…are all different things. Why can’t legislators just allow “THE PEOPLE” to govern their respective personal lives?  Why, is it that the country everyone runs to, or used to run to because it was the beacon to personal freedom seeks to legislate one of the MOST sacred personal freedoms; the freedom to choose who we love?

This wraps up this instalment. I may update this later. I may just tap out another one. Who the Koss knows?

😜😂😝

  • Love, in my youth, I admit I sought her out. FAIL!! As I matured, I stopped looking for LOVE and thought that LOVE would find me. REALLY, DID I REALLY THINK THAT WOULD HAPPEN? So, now, I enjoy the “freedom” of having no significant other. However, there are times when I’d welcome the “shackles” of having a sig. However, as I type this, I realise that the words used are perhaps an indication of how I view romantic entanglements.😱😝😂👻

14 April – It’s time to put this baby to bed.

I’m sitting here in my chair, listening to Friday Night Dinner, gazing out my window. Realisation.. despite everything, I am of peace. That sustains me. It also sustains others. Here’s something else that I believe. I believe that through a combined force of WILL, there are groups, communities of people who are also “of peace” and through their efforts we, as a species have not wiped ourselves out. We’ve come so close. Yet…

I’ve lost that train.

I’m wrapping up with a rhetorical here.

Why is it so difficult to just do the “right” thing?


A pui tardí



Descriptors

How do you describe people?
I ask, because a few weeks ago, I was asked,

“Who is so and so?”

“He’s that black guy we met at…”

“Oh. Couldn’t you have described him by any other feature than his race?”

“ZOMG, here comes another lecture.” But….

STOP THE BUS! Could I have described him any other way? Of course the answer is a resounding “yes.” But I decided to take the path of least resistance and go with the obvious for the following reasons…

1. To refuse to acknowledge a persons race, is in a way a refusal to acknowledge them (my opinion). Being “Black, White, Latino, Asian whatever” is part of that person and unfortunately is an obvious “in your face adjective.” (that’s my high and mighty, morally superior reason)

2. My use of race to describe him was an easy way to start to winnow down the guest list as there were only four black people there, including myself and the other two were female.

Another reason closer to the truth…

3. I had no other available information to go on. You know like job, education, religion, orientation, yada yada ya.

and………………

The truth…

4. I see race before I see anything else. We all do! Is that such a “bad” thing? Now I do not believe that I’m talking about racial profiling or stereotyping. Perhaps I am. I think that I’m talking about the hue of a persons skin…the amount of melanin, that’s all.

So, amici although I do not believe that I was in error. I will admit, that I shall endeavour to use other descriptors when describing people. As I type this I realise that by doing that, I will have to continue my attempts at increased social interactions (conversations) in attempt to learn more about people so that the use of race becomes a “last ditch descriptor.”

Well, I am off out to find myself some breakfast and perhaps have another day of #publictranspostories. ✌️

Ahhh, an over the shoulder reader asked, “why not use hair colour, height, eye colour?”
My answer, “If his hair was any other colour than black, I would have said, ‘the black guy with the salt and pepper hair?’ ” The same goes for height. “The really tall (or short) black guy.” So, I couldn’t escape. ✌️

A pui tardí!

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal and Organisational Peace

A few days ago, (yesterday to be exact) I decided to post those things that I find “helpful” and “uplifting.” So, today, instead of visiting those usual websites, I surfed the interwebs and found this. These are the 10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal and Organisational Peace

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.

2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

a pui tardí

A decision made and one I hope to keep.

With that last blog “Status update becomes a blog,” I’ve made yet another decision. I’m really tired of being bombarded by the less than helpful images and general “news” of the world on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called, so I am going to change what I want to see on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. I’m going to change what I post on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. Bye bye, CNN, ABC and the like. I ❤️ ya Huffpost, but you gotta go. Let me put it this way. If it’s not music related, family related, garden related and basic general stuff; I’m not going to post it. After all I don’t and people should not get their “news” from Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the like.

We’ll see how this works..

✌️ my siblings from another mother✌️