Category Archives: communication

Six years or somewhere there about..

My life, as I knew it, changed. Wow, milady, talking about a delayed response.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was given some news that changed my life.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was told that I was going to die.

No, not by a Gypsy, Magic 8ball or a call from a psychic. I was told this by a team of physicians.

OK, PICTURE THIS. One minute you’re in the shower. You’re downstairs getting ready for Mother’s Day dinner with the family. The next minute, you wake up…in hospital…attached to machines and being probed and poked. Waking up, knowing that something just isn’t right.

Picture it, being told that you have to have this biopsy. You’ve several brain bleeds and what looks like a tumour. WOW, Tumour = cancer = brain = dead. That’s what I’m kinda thinking.  So let’s fast forward shall we. Oh, did I mention, that some how (digging in the dirt where animals poo) I picked up a parasite that is ADDING to the TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

Biopsy done…insert medical term..another medical term…inoperable.

Meetings, consultations, tests.

Weeks later, I’m home. I’m home, to die, with a satchel of meds. One to stop seizures. One to thin the blood. One to stop the parasite. One for blood pressure. One for something else that I can’t honestly remember. One, that, almost hastened my trip to the underworld.  All totalled, I was, at one point taking over 20 medications. NO BUENO!

Now, everyone around me has had their lives affected. Holiday plans put on hold. Constant monitoring because I couldn’t be left alone..Fall risk here.

Vomiting, constant pain, no energy, NOTHING. Meals were…interesting. The Lady Donna did her best to find foods that I could eat. No that’s not correct; food that I could keep down.

All the while, life continues at it usual pace. I’m waiting though…”You may be here Christmas,” was all I could hear.

 

To be continued…perhaps later today, perhaps tomorrow I’ll talk about having to tell friends and acquaintances…

 

take care

 

 

 

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Wowzers! Really, I didn’t realise that it was THAT important 

This will be short.

It is MY OPINION, MY BELIEF, that I should not be made to feel as if I am less of a friend because I’ve not “liked” another picture of your sleeping baby that you’ve tweeted, pinned, posted on FB, whatever. And PLEASE DO NOT pull up that imagery show to me IF THE KID IS IN FRONT OF ME…….SLEEPING! WHY??? You’re asking for my look of condescension and wry humour. 

😂😂😂

A puí tardí

Let’s see where this goes

looking out of my window, I realise that I’ve treated this blog just like I treat my handwritten journal. I use them -religiously – for days, sometimes weeks on end. Then, one day…BAM nothing.  And that of course, goes for weeks on end too! Of course, during those “nothing” periods, “something” is happening, but nothing that I’m willing to share—during the EVENT.

So, guys and gals, go put a kettle on, get your favourite biscuits and prepare to ask…WTF? 😜

  • I’ve been feeling “disconnected” lately. I was standing in the kitchen a few weeks ago. My housemate and I were doing our “dinner prep dance” then all of a sudden, the feeling of being disjointed – disconnected washed over me. There I was, standing in the middle of the kitchen, feeling apart of, yet removed from the activity around me. Why? Why? Hummmm, more about that later. 13 April- I’ve identified the feeling of disconnection. I should say that I think that I’ve identified it. For the past few years, I’ve been afraid of …the next step. As a result, I removed myself from day to day face to face interactions. I pay my bills online. I shop online. My meds are delivered to me. My health is monitored remotely. So, for all intents and purposes, I had no real reason to leave the house.  So, I’ve not really had any reason to engage or be engaged. As a result, those things that come so easily to others, I believe it is called “small talk” becomes a BLOODY chore. Of course that is just a thumbnail account.
  • I’ve been having these internal conversations. Now, I’ve had them before. Walking ones self through a procedure and stuff like that. Well, these internal conversations have been, what I now call, ” dark side, uncensored conversations” basically, those are the meanest, vilest, most “are you a FRAKING idiot for saying -insert topic- ?” kinds of conversations.  These, although disturbing, have actually assisted with my day to day interactions. That surprised the Koss out of me! LOL!!! 13 April- those internal conversations have become external and as a result, dare I say some realisations have been made. That if I could have and actually give voice to those thoughts then as a few of the “targets” have come to realise, the “shit must be bad.” Pity, that I had to paint the ugliest picture to affect change. That is a pity. 
  • …”There are some things about which I just don’t care. Can’t name them all here. Hummm. … … 😜”

“War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.” President Jimmy Carter

  • Let’s look through the ole leather bound to see, what I’ve forgotten. 
  • I’ve returned to my study of magic. I prefer ” magick.” More importantly, I’m back to the study of spells and talismen. That’s been an ongoing study for decades now. 
  • Ran into an old sci-fi club acquaintance. He and I would often debate: Immortality- Pros and Cons. And one of his thoughts, is that immortality was/is some type of fountain of youth. I, on the other, contend that one would still age, but at a certain point, organs would regenerate, yada yada ya. Then the voice said, he’s talking age, you’re talking passage of time. Aren’t they the same things? “Yes and no. However, I’ve not the energy to explain.

Instead of moving forward, mankind….some of mankind seems to be moving backward. I live in a state where it will be legal to refuse service to someone if the owner/manager feels that the patron violates some “moral” code of conduct. That law seems to be sweeping the country.  Most are focusing on only ONE aspect of this “moral” code. They’ve, I believe, yet to see how this can and will affect everyone.  14 April Can morals be regulated, legislated, dictated?  I’d like to think that I’m a pretty moral fella. However, I don’t feel the need to practise a “mainstream” religion. I don’t care if two men or women want to marry.  If the races want to mix and multiply, have at it! I don’t hate Muslims and don’t think that they are all “evil.” I don’t think that I have to accept any one deity I don’t want to accept.  Some of, many of my beliefs and philosophies are so counter to this “moral code.” I guess I’m screwed!   Moving on……..

I “prepared” for IT. IT didn’t happen.  IT will happen.  But now that IT didn’t/hasn’t happened, what to do? Of course, being grateful is first on the list, but “moving on and living” just doesn’t sum up the “what to do.” I think that is going to be a follow up discussion too.

  • What am I not in the business of? Yep, that’s right!!! LOL😜😂😄 I’m not in the business of being right or wrong. HOWEVER, it is rather pleasing to be right.  LOL, I know, how  unevolved am I? I’m human in this moment so litigate against me.  😜😃😄😝 with that said….

  • One of my TOP ONE MILLION PET PEEVES. People who have to constantly remind people “how much more intelligent and smart I am.” I just look and nod. All the while, I’m thinking, a real intellectual does not have to announce it – on a daily basis…several times a day and then seek confirmation.  LOL!  Meow meow
  • Sexuality and sex. gender identification and orientation…are all different things. Why can’t legislators just allow “THE PEOPLE” to govern their respective personal lives?  Why, is it that the country everyone runs to, or used to run to because it was the beacon to personal freedom seeks to legislate one of the MOST sacred personal freedoms; the freedom to choose who we love?

This wraps up this instalment. I may update this later. I may just tap out another one. Who the Koss knows?

😜😂😝

  • Love, in my youth, I admit I sought her out. FAIL!! As I matured, I stopped looking for LOVE and thought that LOVE would find me. REALLY, DID I REALLY THINK THAT WOULD HAPPEN? So, now, I enjoy the “freedom” of having no significant other. However, there are times when I’d welcome the “shackles” of having a sig. However, as I type this, I realise that the words used are perhaps an indication of how I view romantic entanglements.😱😝😂👻

14 April – It’s time to put this baby to bed.

I’m sitting here in my chair, listening to Friday Night Dinner, gazing out my window. Realisation.. despite everything, I am of peace. That sustains me. It also sustains others. Here’s something else that I believe. I believe that through a combined force of WILL, there are groups, communities of people who are also “of peace” and through their efforts we, as a species have not wiped ourselves out. We’ve come so close. Yet…

I’ve lost that train.

I’m wrapping up with a rhetorical here.

Why is it so difficult to just do the “right” thing?


A pui tardí



Written under the influence…

…of binaural beats.
I don’t know if it’s it a bunch of bullspit or not. I went into it with the, “it won’t hurt” mindset.

After a few days, I may have to change my mind. I’ve been able to focus. I’ve been pleasant. I mean smiling and laughing with people instead of at them “pleasant.” My creativity has increased (at least I think it has.)

Could it be the binaural cocktail of “morning meditation” then a little “positive energy boost” I throw in a bit of “creativity boost.” The final beat …”pre-exercise workout.” I down that and B A M, I am ready for the morning! I shall continue with this experiment and provide periodic reports.

This is the app I use.

IMG_4781.JPG

Have you tried binaural beats? If “yes,” what were/are your thoughts? If, “no,” oh, ok.

I think I’m going to return to “the tube.” Ive been toying around with the idea for a few months/years now. I’d make the occasional vlog here and there. (Somehow, I’ve a second channel. I made it by mistake, if there can be such a thing. ( a “mistake, not the second channel.)
IMG_1244.JPG

I’ve discovered that my technology may be somewhat outdated. Oops, let me rephrase that some of my tech (primarily the built in camera on Laptop-O) HOWEVER, on a few test captures using the mobile, I may be able to overcome that obstacle (I finally get to put the Gorilla tripod to good use. YAY \o/ )

I am not an ungrateful person at all. No one has ever said that I was ungrateful (at least not to my face). But there are thoughts that I have that if voiced aloud make me sound it.

Just because

I am of peace

does not mean that I don’t get angry, pissed off and just downright MAD. Have I mentioned that before? No, I’m not only telling this to people who are “surprised” when I blow up; I am also telling this to MYSELF. Lately, I have been having these internal RAGES that leave me weak and ashamed. Yes, I said ashamed. I am ashamed because, these rages come with images and entire dialogues that are filled with nothing but bile and venom. In a FLASH, I kid you not, I can go from elation to caged wolverine. WTFraks up with that?

That was rhetorical. However, if you’d like to chime in, please do so. 👍

I am single because I don’t put my self out in the world to meet people. I am jaded and bitter. I’ve trust issues. The idea of pair bonding does appeal to me. However, I’ve neither the time, the emotional wherewithal or even the desire to be coupled with anyone – any more. I’ve tried it. Everytime I tried it, the relationship outlived the previous. Which should be a good thing. However, that only means the “hurt” the “heartbreak” lasts longer each time. (ZOMG! My ocular implants are malfunctioning. They appear to be leaking.)

Any whooooo…

I do like my new house. I can’t quite call it home. I don’t “feel” like it is “home.” The fault lies with no one. I’ve not felt like I’ve had a “home” in decades. I can’t recall. Oh well. That’s an obsessive thought for another time.

Someone is getting the hang of the Twitter. 😄😄😄😜 Yep, I’m there too. Click here > the Twitter

I should point out that just like on Instagram, I am not a “follow for follow” kinda guy. If your feed is open, I’ll check it out. And if there is something there that makes me say, hummm, I’ll hang out. 🙂 just an FYI. I need to spend more “real-time” on the Twitter. The majority of my tweets are “bot” redirect/shares. Every now and again, I do have an origi thought. “Origi” jejejeje

As I gazed out the window for a bit,
My eye caught a blaze of gold and green
A splash of colour
a drop of rain
Blow winds
chill Fall breeze
Is it Fall
I only “know” BOILING and FREEZING
Wow
I see a runner
Wishing, longing, missing
I gaze
{chime chime chime}
Text message…
There’s that hurt

As I gazed out the window

by the Gods of Sky and Earth

Oh well

A pui tardí

✌️

“I know I’m ready to give feedback when: … Excerpt From: Brené Brown’s, “Daring Greatly.” Gotham Books, 2012-09-11

This spoke to me….

“I know I’m ready to give feedback when:

I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you;

I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you);

I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue;

I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes;

I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges;

I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you;
I’m willing to own my part;

I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings;

I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity; and,

I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.”

Check out this book on the iBooks Store: https://itun.es/us/JIOIE.l

✌️

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal and Organisational Peace

A few days ago, (yesterday to be exact) I decided to post those things that I find “helpful” and “uplifting.” So, today, instead of visiting those usual websites, I surfed the interwebs and found this. These are the 10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal and Organisational Peace

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.

2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

a pui tardí

A decision made and one I hope to keep.

With that last blog “Status update becomes a blog,” I’ve made yet another decision. I’m really tired of being bombarded by the less than helpful images and general “news” of the world on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called, so I am going to change what I want to see on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. I’m going to change what I post on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. Bye bye, CNN, ABC and the like. I ❤️ ya Huffpost, but you gotta go. Let me put it this way. If it’s not music related, family related, garden related and basic general stuff; I’m not going to post it. After all I don’t and people should not get their “news” from Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the like.

We’ll see how this works..

✌️ my siblings from another mother✌️