Wow, last year this time I was in Atlanta, nursing my mom back to health. After a year (mas o menos), I left her, a person size lighter and in a better position health-wise than I found her. Soon, I will return to Atlanta to bury her. Which is just odd to me as we were laughing and goofing off together on Monday.
Now, what’s even odder is that unless things happen differently, there are “steps” to this expiration.
Remove her from the ventilator is the first step.
So, well see where that leads us.
And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.
I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje
I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!
Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.
I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now
If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”
My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…
We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.
peace and long life
in this lifetime and in others
everyone on this planet
you name it
serves a purpose
our goals in life should be(in my humble opinion) to
do good work
be mindful of all we say and do
and remember that what we do
affects NOT ONLY those in our present
BUT ALSO those in our future
and believe it or not, those in our past
(how can that be?)
pensare che i miei amici