Category Archives: empaths

How long…

does anyone else have trouble recalling past blogs? Did I do this one here, on perhaps on YouTube?

Query: realistically, how long can a person blame their parents/caregivers for the “crap” of their lives?

I ask this because, lately I’ve been hearing “I’m this way because my mom didn’t do this.”

“I’m this way because my dad was never home.”

I am a bit bothered by this. I’m asking myself, “What about … PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?”

It seems to me that’s what is lacking in the world today. We choose to place blame at the feet of others as opposed to “man-ing up” and saying that we are because of decisions I made. My life “sucks” not because my mom didn’t buy me a pair of trainers or

but I don’t know what politics is

And I awake to the thumping of some tribal music coming from the pub across the way. No biggie! Then this scream. It is the same woman, every bloody night she exits the pub and screeches. she is beyond pissed. I wonder if she will have a massive hangover. I’ll watch BEING HUMAN: US. And ramble on until sleep revisits.

I am beginning to make my preparations for my return trip to back VA. I purchase my ticket on Wednesday. I am kinda looking forward to the 18.5 hour trip…kinda. I set up a tumblr account to “photo” blog it along the way. I tell you this. As soon as I return to HR(Hampton Roads), I am heading to the beach. I have missed the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, the taste of the salt spray, it will just be nice to be back at my centre of power. Jejejeje

I think I am going to try to combine a few draft posts into one. Ready? Set! Go!

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Had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a split rail fence, eating a kebab of roasted veggies and a huge crocodile jumps up and snatches my food, leaving me completely intact.

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I admit, I have this “fear” of returning. So much has changed and I fear that those changes have separated me from the past. Does that make any sense?
I fear a loss of freedom. I fear a loss of self. But, how can that be? Perhaps not a “loss” of self but a “submersion” of self.
But aren’t these the “feelings” one usually experiences when one returns “home?” oh my, “home” is not a building, it is a place where you’ve left a heart print

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Confession time…
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTION. Whoa now waitaminute… Hummm, maybe what I don’t understand are the complexities, the nuances of human emotion. I often tell people that I am emotionally distant (which really isn’t true). I believe that I just process stimuli differently, weigh the helpful and less than helpful outcome (as best as I can, with all available data) and thus react differently. But most times, I follow… (I don’t know what to call it…my “inner voice??”
I have also learned to take certain emotional cues from those around me. And sometimes that just confuses the hell out of me! enough about that…for now

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If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful ”

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My Lord Phoenix, soon to be 31…Ahhh, to be 30 anything again. Any plans? And a 6 month anniversary coming up…

and finally

aquarius

We may feel as if anything is possible today as the Moon’s entry into futuristic Aquarius encourages us to cut our ties to the past. Alluring Venus forms a cooperative sextile to radical Uranus, attracting us to new experiences. Venus, too, enters Aquarius, further detaching our desires from our emotions. Anticipation can set us on edge and a lack of self-restraint may empower us to overreach our limits and take risks we might normally pass by.

peace and long life

Public transpo: the rain has returned and yeah, some dreams can be prophetic (is that the word?)

Well, well, well

Someone speaks ill of the drewster. WHAT’S NEW???? I shared the vermin and snake dream with you yesterday. Went online to research the “meaning.” lol snakes = someone speaks ill of you. (haven’t gotten to the rat part yet). I am not too concerned, if they are talking about me, that will spare someone else. So it’s all good. Re: that, as long as I know that my motives are pure and without malice, the opinions and foul mouthings of others mean little to me… hehehe as much as a June bug in July. hehehe

I’ve mentioned the penance given to me. Well, I am still working that program…HOWEVER, I could not help myself, yesterday, I had to, and yes I say “had to” stop holding back and tell a colleague something that she didn’t want to hear. I think the message was received. So today will be the test. Now, before you start, I was nice about it. No yelling; no trying to make her see it my way…just the facts as they have been presented to me (skewed by the deliverer, as all “facts” are when told by a “wounded” party). And, I think I have a wonderful way to sweeten any .. Can’t think of the word. I usually start out by saying (this might ring familiar to a certain someone,) “I am not in the business of being right or wrong…” I’ve found that by starting with that sentence, it makes the medicine go down a bit easier.

Now to the fun stuff. I ruined a pair of Italian leather shoes today (not really fun, but…). Water damage. It wasn’t raining when I left the crib (hehehehe) this morning and then Zeus decided, let it rain..and it did!

Found some lost music last night, so I’ve added another 15 gigs of music to my music library. Yea me!! Now to get media player to accept and label the selections. Yea me!!!

Well, empaths beware, my work is a breeding ground for negative mojo today…RED ALERT, RED ALERT. Shields up, man how can one be so pissed 1st thing in the morning. Even when I drove to work in the rain, hating every min, I would at least say “good morning.” oh well, no hair off my back.

Later

Oh, have a great day, afternoon, evening and make it a productive one!

SIDEBAR: Oh well, it really doesn’t matter . 🙂

Ciao ciao

the WILL and the WORD

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