Category Archives: faith

Six years or somewhere there about..

My life, as I knew it, changed. Wow, milady, talking about a delayed response.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was given some news that changed my life.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was told that I was going to die.

No, not by a Gypsy, Magic 8ball or a call from a psychic. I was told this by a team of physicians.

OK, PICTURE THIS. One minute you’re in the shower. You’re downstairs getting ready for Mother’s Day dinner with the family. The next minute, you wake up…in hospital…attached to machines and being probed and poked. Waking up, knowing that something just isn’t right.

Picture it, being told that you have to have this biopsy. You’ve several brain bleeds and what looks like a tumour. WOW, Tumour = cancer = brain = dead. That’s what I’m kinda thinking.  So let’s fast forward shall we. Oh, did I mention, that some how (digging in the dirt where animals poo) I picked up a parasite that is ADDING to the TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

Biopsy done…insert medical term..another medical term…inoperable.

Meetings, consultations, tests.

Weeks later, I’m home. I’m home, to die, with a satchel of meds. One to stop seizures. One to thin the blood. One to stop the parasite. One for blood pressure. One for something else that I can’t honestly remember. One, that, almost hastened my trip to the underworld.  All totalled, I was, at one point taking over 20 medications. NO BUENO!

Now, everyone around me has had their lives affected. Holiday plans put on hold. Constant monitoring because I couldn’t be left alone..Fall risk here.

Vomiting, constant pain, no energy, NOTHING. Meals were…interesting. The Lady Donna did her best to find foods that I could eat. No that’s not correct; food that I could keep down.

All the while, life continues at it usual pace. I’m waiting though…”You may be here Christmas,” was all I could hear.

 

To be continued…perhaps later today, perhaps tomorrow I’ll talk about having to tell friends and acquaintances…

 

take care

 

 

 

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But I don’t know you.

Let’s get to the meat of this blog. I am faced with a decision. This is a decision that honestly has me stumped.

I have to have a conversation with a few people that I never thought I would have to have at this stage of my life. The “stumped” part. No matter how I phrase it, no matter how many bows I wrap around it, feelings will be hurt and angry words will be said in the heat of the moment. I’d like to point out that these hurt feelings and angry words won’t be mine.

After 30+ years, people who share my genetic material want to reach out and become a “family.” AFTER 30+ YEARS. Of course, I wonder why. Now, my brother, my younger brother, wants to reunite. It is my opinion that he has a romanticised view of the past, a past coloured by his youth, his want to have extended family and television programming which touts the joyousness of family life.

My problem, I have NO DESIRE to reconnect. NONE WHATSOEVER! I hold no bitterness or avarice toward any of them. I just don’t want to waste the emotional and physical energy. PERIOD! I will admit that I caved in and accepted a friend request but, I’ve made no attempt other than the initial “hello” via messenger.

The other stump, I do not want to ruin my brother’s reunion. People do change and perhaps they have. I think that it is important for him to try to develop a relationship with these people so that he can judge for himself. ZOMGoddess, it just occurred to me that he, my brother, wants me there just in case, the dream is in fact a nightmare. He will have someone on his “side.” That may or may not be true.

I’ll make make attempts to ….no I won’t. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to do a damn thing. I’m going to try a technique that I’ve seen many others use. I am not going to do anything. Of course I know that by not doing anything, that I am doing something. (Yes, I acknowledge my passive aggressive approach.)

I don’t know these people. 30 + years is a LOT of water under the bridge. I’ve NO warm and fuzzy feeling about a reunion. I’m feeling something. I just don’t know what I’m feeling. I do know that I believe that I have no desire to get to know these people. That’s it! PERIOD

I keep bumping on “feelings.” I wonder if this choice of inactivity is the correct choice. I wonder if I DO have some deep seeded…something. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

Oh well, the Universe shall guide and provide, she always does.

I AM of peace!

a pui tardí

PS. Hello Milady! How are you? You’ve been weighing heavily on my mind of late.

✌️

Greetings and well met!

Hey! How are you?
I am forever trying to get the most out of my blogging experience ….and failing miserably. But, I’ve another idea.

first

In my mind, before the lights turned on, or what I perceive as a moment of clarity, more like a “pagh’tem’far.”

my blog does not have to be paragraphs long to communicate what my “heart” needs to say.

I can use as many or as few words as I want.

So, with that said, I’ve another ……

20140404-115903.jpg days remaining on the another bulk of meds!

so here’s what I’m gonna do…

38 days – 38 post
Some may be a word.

Some a long rambling story that has no meaning to anyone but the teller and those present

a pui tardi
THANK YOU!!!
Grazie!

I am…of peace.

Random “vedekdrew/Drew” trivia, part one of ???

If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Trick question.

What does your latest text message from someone else say?
It’s already 80 here and of course I’M BOILING!!!

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
It depends on my mood

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
One of three things, either gardening, looking at the sky or taking pictures.

Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind….sometimes I’ll snap a gpom

What does your URL mean?
It’s my online identity. It comes from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. A “Vedek” (comparable to a Cardinal or a Bishop) is the second highest level of the Bajoran religion, also make up the Vedek Assembly, the committee which is responsible for the spiritual issues of the Bajoran people. And Drew, well that’s another identity. 🙂

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes, one Summer almost every week-end

Who is your celebrity crush?
I have a “man crush” on Scott K. Foley. I also adore Kate Mulgrew

How do you vent your anger?
Depends on what or at whom I am angry.

Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect post cards

A few things..

Hi!

I really do appreciate those new subscribers. You folk are the best! Of, course those guys and gals who have been there/here from the beginning, you are the crème de la crème of followers ✌️😀😃😺

HEALTH UPDATE
I’m still a medical fascination. I don’t really know what else to say other than, it’s not the best…Goddess knows, it’s not the worst, but, my “way of life” noooooooo, the “way I lived” has changed! Has it changed for the better? I don’t know. I guess that is something that….only time will tell 🙂

The Universe takes care of her own.

I’ve been super excited, super bummed for the past few days. A friend, a close friend of mine returns home tomorrow to have his worst dream realised and, honestly, I’m not really up to offering any support. It’s not that I don’t want to offer it. It’s that I just do not have it in me. I am drained, in ways I didn’t think possible.

I have a bunch of “fears” associated with this reunion as well. Now, let’s see how I can say this without sounding like a twat.
As we, individuals, navigate our way through life, lessons are learned.
As we learn these “life lessons” our experiences, our way of interacting with our community changes.
As we incorporate these changes into our lives, we “evolve.

What if, because of separation our paths have diverged so much, that continued association would be counterproductive?
I am recalling how the last reunion went….not fondly, but not horribly either. Oh well, there is no need to borrow trouble.

Let’s see, what else?
Well, as some of you know, my mother, the woman from whose loins I sprang, died a few years ago. Her death left a hole in my soul that can never be filled. More recently, the Lady Donna, my “Ivory mother” died…in front of us…no warning. Another lurch, my world torn asunder, another hole, irreparably ripped in my soul. Wow, two of the most important women in my life gone…in the blink of an eye. I grieve, but it is more important that I live up to their legacies.

With certain realisations, my muse has returned. So, I’ve been freezing moments in time! I’ve been playing with colour -electronic style. And film, I’ve shot a few rolls of film. (I hope they come out well.) I’ll post them on my Flickr page.

Hey, something just occurred to me. I do not believe that anyone has ever answered a question asked ages ago; “To whom does the Father confessor confess?” But as I ask it again, I’m thinking that it’s probably much like “to whom does a therapist talk when he/she is troubled?”

I’ve decided to get up and go out. I it make take me an hour to get there, but I want to eat — to have a bite or two of something out. (I don’t say “eat” anymore because…..)

So, I’ll post snaps later. Fill you in on my sojourn to nutritional bio-matter. And anything else that comes to mind.

whoa did I mention that I’m considering a name change for the blog? No? Well, I am….I think it’s time for a change.

A pui tardi!

I am of peace 99.9% of the time. 🙂

Wow! What a difference a few days and some serious dosing will do for ya

♫ soundtracking “Au-Dela (Live)” by Morcheeba http://sdtk.fm/wMmJJw

♫ soundtracking “My Love” by The Bird and the Bee http://sdtk.fm/AeoNWy

What have I missed? Hummmmmmmm

You know whilst under the weather, why is it called under the weather? I came up with the best blog ideas. But guess what. I can’t think of any of them right now! LOL, Oh well…..

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Ok, I don’t know what it was about the last episode of the US version of one of my favourite British tele-dramas., SHAMELESS. But, I’m hooked. No pun intended buddy. lol I am tickled. With that said, I have added it to my list of watchable television. …….

whooooa, now, wait a minute…..

But I watch a lot of computer. So how does that differ? Does it differ?

Humm….

Commercial television ….. “commercials, hence more messages that you are too: insert whatever.

Internet viewing ……no commercials, but the product placement in the now commercial free programmes still bombard.

And now, I’ve lost my train of thought.

Oh, ♫ soundtracking “Let It Fall” by Lykke Li http://sdtk.fm/zDABEy

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Also added to the viewing schedule.

I ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ A FINE FRENZY just sayin’

♫ soundtracking “Rangers” by @AFineFrenzy http://sdtk.fm/wq5wic

On FB this morning a question was asked… Which alien race in the Star Trek universe would you like to be?
It took me all but a minute to come up with a Vulcan-Bajoran. I mean, Vulcans can’t just have the hots for humans. Think about it!!!!

And because I’m a Trek nerd….
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(Star_Trek)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bajoran

Oh, you know the other day I just wanted…NEEDED a milkshake. I decided to go to Wendy’s (I can’t get sued for this can I?) and received the BEST chocolate shake I have had in a looooong time! It was the best thing i have had in my mouth in DECADES It was also the most expensive chocolate milkshake I’ve ever had. As good as it was, and I do mean it was good. It was I want a cigarette after having it good! I will have to save that for treat/cheat day. I could become addicted.

I am loving her voice….♫ soundtracking “Little Bit” by Lykke Li http://sdtk.fm/ApGPCt

I just love this blogging thing! You know what guys, I’ve sat here; and, through the use of images and music; I’ve written a blog….shared bits of my day, tiny little glimpses into my mind with you……that blows me away and THANK YOU for allowing me to do so!

♫ soundtracking “World Spins Madly On” by The Weepies http://sdtk.fm/w7907E

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#sixseasonsandamovie
#nbccommunity
#troyandabed

Here’s something for you. Had a buddy text the other day complaining that he hasn’t gotten any hits on this singles hook up site. ZOMG why is ♫ soundtracking “Masquerade” by Berlin http://sdtk.fm/yeOGmY playing…

So I ask him, “how are you selling yourself?”
He proceeds to read the advert, I doze off, I hear a “are you there?” and I answer (I really did doze off or became distracted by something bright and shiny.)
That’s your problem…the advert is too long. This isn’t match.com or eharmony. Your goal is to get laid, yes? Well say what you want and this longs walks and favourite book “The Bible.” is shyte! Say what you want…. Well, we (I) trimmed the fat from the advert and made it say what he wanted. Well, let’s just say, he is as happy as a queer in Babylon (LOL, I’m having QAF flashbacks)

20120130-173222.jpg

What now????? ♫ soundtracking “Beautiful Drug (feat. Jana Andevska)” by @ThieveryCorpDC http://sdtk.fm/xFDxve

♫ soundtracking “Dancing With Myself” by Nouvelle Vague http://sdtk.fm/wCrhAf

20120130-174252.jpg
I ❤ the Avengers. Before this Ultimate universe, re-booted crap! THERE I SAID IT!!!!

well I think my work here is done…..

a pui tardi.

I’ll play myself out…♫ soundtracking “Day After Day” by Pretenders http://sdtk.fm/zWo586

Query: to whom does the Father Confessor confess?

Well, to whom?

Now hang on, I’m not talking confessions like. “I’ve killed 27 people and their bodies are in the root cellar” kind of confessions. I’m talking about…..

“Hey!”
“Hello”
“Do you like the new “rebooted” universes the comics are creating now.”
“I am adapting. I do find it somewhat confusing as I read many of these titles as a kid and well, I’m still getting used to a black Aqua Lad.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“Nevertheless, I may add a title or two to a collection. It is the ideal time since the reboot universe is still in its infancy.
“yeah, me too. I like to be spanked with a wooden spoon while wearing wellies. Is that weird?”
“I am especially interested in The Legion of Superheroes.”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“I chose to ignore that.”

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT????

ROFL

a pui tardi

What???? Just what am I to do with that.

Is it weird? The act itself, no. The fact that you told me, yes.

Wow

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