Category Archives: fate

Happiness = Security … or does it?

Wow, once more into the fire.

Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?

Well, my “security” was taken away today.

(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)

Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”

But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…

Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”

“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”

Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions… many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.

Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )

Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )

Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)

Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)

Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)

But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”

So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?

Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?

Oh well, a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.


Simple yet classy…. heheheh….your check is in the mail….

OK, I can take that. Although, instead of “simple,” let’s use “uncomplicated” instead…. LOL!!! I really don’t care what you call me….as long as it isn’t late for….. breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, snack….middle of the night snack, breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, snack….middle of the night snack, breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, snack….middle of the night snack.

you kinda get it. You know what. If it wasn’t so hard on the body. I would eat and eat and eat. Just because. what is the fear of fat called? Let’s see….is it anorexia or bullimia? Want to know the odd thing. While attending university, I was editor of the yearbook. There was this guy, (can’t remember his name) but whenever he came around, I would leave..for fear of possibly losing a limb to his appetite. I hated to be around him when he ate….Have you ever been to a pig farm during feeding time??? That is what he reminded me of.. yeah, it is harsh. He was a nice guy from what I remember, but I remember the broken chairs, crumbs everywhere and the sound of polyester rubbing together. odd what one remembers..



However, have you ever wanted to do something wild and crazy? How that applies to the blog I HAVE NO IDEA!!!

I have always been the simple, understated, classic, uncomplicated one. Now, as I type this, the thought came…can one truly be “uncomplicated?”

Well, on that odd, yet uncomplicated note; I shall leave you with this…

“You might consider things like old age and death as negative, unwanted, and simply try to forget about them. But eventually those things will come anyway.”

– His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Tarot cards…hummm

wowzers! that was a quickie!

whew, that was refreshing.

it was meant to be a vlog, contributing to the “what is art?” thread. however, as she often does – inspiration came in a different form – a brown paper bag.

nonetheless, the vlog is recorded. effects added. now to get it posted. according to the manual I should be able to post it from my phone. the manual says to save the vid to card – then move it from the card to internal memory – open browser, select html, and post. geez louise, that is too time consuming. I may just wait until tomorrow.

I may play around with posting from e-mail.

the biggest loser – a really interesting show.