Category Archives: friendship

Six years or somewhere there about..

My life, as I knew it, changed. Wow, milady, talking about a delayed response.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was given some news that changed my life.

Six years ago or somewhere thereabout, I was told that I was going to die.

No, not by a Gypsy, Magic 8ball or a call from a psychic. I was told this by a team of physicians.

OK, PICTURE THIS. One minute you’re in the shower. You’re downstairs getting ready for Mother’s Day dinner with the family. The next minute, you wake up…in hospital…attached to machines and being probed and poked. Waking up, knowing that something just isn’t right.

Picture it, being told that you have to have this biopsy. You’ve several brain bleeds and what looks like a tumour. WOW, Tumour = cancer = brain = dead. That’s what I’m kinda thinking.  So let’s fast forward shall we. Oh, did I mention, that some how (digging in the dirt where animals poo) I picked up a parasite that is ADDING to the TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

Biopsy done…insert medical term..another medical term…inoperable.

Meetings, consultations, tests.

Weeks later, I’m home. I’m home, to die, with a satchel of meds. One to stop seizures. One to thin the blood. One to stop the parasite. One for blood pressure. One for something else that I can’t honestly remember. One, that, almost hastened my trip to the underworld.  All totalled, I was, at one point taking over 20 medications. NO BUENO!

Now, everyone around me has had their lives affected. Holiday plans put on hold. Constant monitoring because I couldn’t be left alone..Fall risk here.

Vomiting, constant pain, no energy, NOTHING. Meals were…interesting. The Lady Donna did her best to find foods that I could eat. No that’s not correct; food that I could keep down.

All the while, life continues at it usual pace. I’m waiting though…”You may be here Christmas,” was all I could hear.

 

To be continued…perhaps later today, perhaps tomorrow I’ll talk about having to tell friends and acquaintances…

 

take care

 

 

 

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A decision made and one I hope to keep.

With that last blog “Status update becomes a blog,” I’ve made yet another decision. I’m really tired of being bombarded by the less than helpful images and general “news” of the world on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called, so I am going to change what I want to see on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. I’m going to change what I post on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. Bye bye, CNN, ABC and the like. I ❤️ ya Huffpost, but you gotta go. Let me put it this way. If it’s not music related, family related, garden related and basic general stuff; I’m not going to post it. After all I don’t and people should not get their “news” from Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the like.

We’ll see how this works..

✌️ my siblings from another mother✌️

Once again, I’m lost…. :-/

App developers just because you can change something doesn’t mean that you should. If it works on one device, It needs to work on them all!

But that’s not my “original” thought behind this blurb.

Have you ever felt, as if a part of you, a part of you, of which you were aware, but just didn’t give it the consideration it was due, was gone – missing-vanished?

Yeah, as I gaze out the window, watching the rain hit the puddle, I realised that something is gone.

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Weaving a very messy pattern and You Tube, why I’m not avidly vlogging anymore.

These past few days are a blur and I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why. Because I no longer have a “schedule set in stone.”

I’ve been giving some thoughts to a vlog a friend shared with me a few weeks ago.

I too, was an avid YouTuber, as you well know, sometimes posting several blogs in a day. Those were the days of zzz33333, bbleaver, Loreleila, Kellyn and fckuvrymuch (aka thnkuvrymuch) or something like that and way too many others to try to name. But something happened. Life, happened. I know that in my case, relocating to a new state, looking for employment, my remaining parent dying, a really good friend going to jail, having a decade old relationship circle the drain…all took a toll. And I just didn’t “feel” like being in front of camera. Another reason, and I freely admit it, is vanity.

Vanity, thy name is Drew.

Each emotional or physical hurdle I faced, instead of, at the time, facing them. I “ate” my way through them. As a result, well, you could have called me “Tubby, Tubby Two by four.” I removed myself from both the real world and the virtual one. Actually, that removal was only a partial removal.

Vlogging was an outlet, a place to find those of like (and in some cases “unlike”) minds. Then, it was a “tool.” It was a soapbox…a global soapbox. It still is to some extent, but it is now such a commercial venture that it has lost its appeal – too me at least. I CHERISH the bonds I’ve forged with some Tubers. I’ve kept in touch with those who have not strayed from their respective paths. I believe that they have only become brighter beacons for their beliefs. But then again, these are my opinions.

So, to shuck this to the cob, I don’t know why I don’t vlog anymore. I’ve plenty to talk about. I’ve plenty of questions that need answers. As I sit here and ramble, I am thinking about YT ideas. I do know one (YouTube) that I will do. It is something that I think needs to be said and said by more people. Humm, perhaps I just need the proper push. And that push isn’t today.

It is my opinion, my belief that the United States should not involve itself in the Syrian conflict.

“If not us, who?”
“Someone else.”

Did I mention that there is no rhyme or reason to this post?

I’ve been re-visiting the “baby voice” thing. I think that why I am so bothered by it because everyone who has ever used that voice (male or female) was trying to get their way. Perhaps, “manipulation” was the wrong word. I’ll use “coerce, which is nothing more than forceful manipulation in my mind.” And I hate to be coerced into anything. I’d rather you just ask me!!! I’ve seen the women (not all) use that voice to wrap the men in their lives around their finger. I’ve seen men use it to coax another hour or two of football out of their wives. But, I’ve come to a fix for that. I just do not respond to the person using it. I “shut down.” I stare at them with a blank, empty expression and wait until they, in frustration, use the “grown-up” voice and only respond to the “adult” voice. Keep in mind, the above just could be a crock! Who really knows why that bothers me. I don’t know why. I just know that it does. It could also just be one of those things that make me less than adorable. 🙂

I am ever curious. So, I’ve a few questions…
What is the big deal about gay marriage, gays in general, marijuana and the legalisation of marijuana?
Why are more people STILL talking about the Cyrus girl? Who really gives rip?
Why aren’t we talking about the “Japanese” irradiated water? Are we not concerned about the long term affects and environmental dangers?
Why has the term “restrictive democracy” been floating through my mind?

I am sure this is old news to some, but Yahoo! bought Tumblr. I am not happy at all! But, I think I may have found a way around the “blockade.” I’ll let you know if it worked.

Health Update
🙂 I am responding well to the current medications. I’ve only had very mild episodes. They come and as quickly as they come, they leave.

There are some days when I am so racked with pain, that…. But once that passes, I’m ok.
That’s what I’m saying now. Because in comparison to a few months ago….I’M GREAT!!!!

My expiry date has been extended by a few more months. yay!!! \O/ of that I’m of mixed emotions.
I still can’t drive or leave the house unsupervised. (Although I did yesterday. I walked around the short block.) SIDEBAR I’ve never realised at how…conformist the neighbourhood is. There are only four styles of homes. I’ve driven through. I’ve ridden my bike through. Walking however, offered a new vantage point.

I’ve even gained 6 pounds!!! Not too happy about that either since I am still too small for my existing clothes. I don’t want to spend any additional money on new clothes. …..the decisions!

Now, if I could only sleep through the night! 🙂

Thinking about putting in a Fall/Winter garden. If I decide, they’ll be container gardens. This link is to my local cooperative extension, but some of the information may prove useful. The Virginia Cooperative Extension. You may want to “Google” cooperative extension for your area.
A free gardening tip Websites and “professional” growers are a great source of general knowledge. However, do not discount the “old neighbour backyard farmer.” He/She knows the soil. They know what works in their ecosystem much better than the kid at the local big box super hardware store that just happens to carry plants. Just sayin’

I want to attach an image to this post. I just can’t find “the image.”

20130910-114800.jpg and this is the image…not an original snap. I found it on the inter-webs, but the colour edit by Snapseed.

I’m really pleased to be around for iOS7. I am over excited about its release and will most likely be disappointed. Unless there are serious upgrades to Siri, from what I can see, these updates are cosmetic in nature. (from what I’ve read at least)

Last but certainly not least!
Thank you new subscribers! Thank you subscribers who have been here from the beginning! I appreciate your comments and your likes.

Well, I’m off out!

I am of peace…most of the time.

a pui tardi

wowzers – I am where I am…

because I do not want to be “alone. If something should burst or pop … whatever it could do, will do…I won’t be found -partially decomposed.

Don’t misunderstand, there are other, less selfish reasons I remain tethered. But the main one is that, although I’ve been “prepared” to die since I’m 12/14, I’m not, I don’t want to be alone.

Of late, I’ve been thinking about children and how I don’t have any. Not that I want any now…are you crazy??? 😆

I have become “that guy.” If I want to recall something of great import; I must make a note. That became even more apparent Sunday. I had to ask the server his name, at least four times.

I have been getting out and about more and more. My days are carefully mapped out to allow maximum enjoyment for me and minimal discomfort ..well, for me. 😊
To be perfectly “honest” with you, other than this thing in the head, for once in what seems like a very long time, I feel fine. NO LIE😜😆😀 I’m feeling so fine, that next week, I’m resuming my workout. Oh yeah baby! 💪💪

I have started downsizing. My once full closets are looking kinda sparse. I’ve been able to give a lot of my trousers to a friend. I’ll never wear a 40 again ( \o/ yay!! \O/) and some shirts! I’ve suitcases of stuff to go through. I’ve also been shredding old documents, letters, cards whatever like I’m an old world spy or something. 👤

Well, I’m off out!

a pui tardi!

Just from where do our thoughts come? :-)

Ok, please check out Internal Luminosity for more background. But to fast forward, there were a series of questions at the end of the blog and the last on made me wonder, so, I am using that as a jump off for my return.

Here are my answers ……

How does your brain work?
I went through several answers until I came up with BASIC programming.
What is the desired outcome?
Do I possess the correct tools to achieve desired outcome?
If “Y” the goto line 9
And then at line 9 one set of instructions
If “N” then goto line 20
And at line 20, a completely different set of algorithms ( is that clear? )

When is your thinking most productive?
Oddly, any time of the day. I can be hiking a trail, talking with friends, peeling potatoes, gardening, listening to music, reading http://internal-luminosity.blogspot.com and BOOYAKITTY (that is my version of an Oprah “Aaa-ha” moment).

What do you do when your thinking is challenged or stops working?
I tend to do a few things. I will either walk away from it for a while; or research the issue. Perhaps I’m missing something that would make the picture clearer.
Ask myself, if I am having this much difficulty with…., should I give it more thought?
When all else fails, I sleep on it.

How do you navigate challenges in your thinking?
Frustration
Then I re-evaluate and the BASIC kicks in.

From where do your thoughts originate?
Perhaps this will answer this question.
My thoughts start in space. As they enter the grav field and are slowly pulled to Earth, the fluff and whimsy are burned off. And when it finally finds itself in my head, BASIC kicks in. 🙂

You know what? As I look back at that answer….I’m not thinking that’s not right. Where do my thoughts originate? I now query myself, because there have been times when a thought has entered my mind, something that I would never think about as SOP. And I will often stop shake my head and ask, “Where in the hell did that thought come from?” (yeah, crappy grammar and all)

I have to….think about this..BOOYAKITTY, what if our thoughts are just a cumulative….no not the word…an agglomeration of what we’ve read, heard, been told, lived and live..the sum of our life experiences and those a round us?

Now I am here, wondering …and this just came to mind…as situations/opportunities arise, based on life experiences …..naaah

So, what do you think? From where do our thoughts originate? I’m perplexed – or am I?

a pui tardi

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4 February 2012 – A stranger

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#febphotoaday