Category Archives: Health and wellness

A decision made and one I hope to keep.

With that last blog “Status update becomes a blog,” I’ve made yet another decision. I’m really tired of being bombarded by the less than helpful images and general “news” of the world on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called, so I am going to change what I want to see on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. I’m going to change what I post on my timeline/feed/whatever the hell it’s called. Bye bye, CNN, ABC and the like. I ❤️ ya Huffpost, but you gotta go. Let me put it this way. If it’s not music related, family related, garden related and basic general stuff; I’m not going to post it. After all I don’t and people should not get their “news” from Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the like.

We’ll see how this works..

✌️ my siblings from another mother✌️

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Sigh, heavy sigh

I’ve lost my “spark.” I know it. I feel it. It’s gone. I’ve tried to no avail to re-ignite it, but it’s gone. The things that gave me some measure of joy, those things mean nothing to me now or the amount of pleasure derived from these things has diminished. I mouth words of affection and adoration, but the feeling behind them is hollow. I mean them, but the passion and emotional energy is feigned.

I am reminded of some lyrics from the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel! I want the fire back!

Oh well, a pui tardi.

I will admit, Fear has entered my heart

I’ve been relying heavily on the Litany against Fear of late…

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

ZOMG! I’m feeling a photo/quote mash-up in the near future.

It is not my goal to be cryptic, but I am SUPER excited about something that will change my life…forever! However, along with the excitement, Fear hovers in the background. In two weeks or so (I’ve created an alert to remind me to revisit this) I’ll be in a much better position to share. I hope.

I am also calling upon my many bookmarks and electronic post it notes of quotes, affirmations and incantations.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie

The above quote rings so clearly to me as just a few days ago I realised that I had been stuck in “second gear.” I was stuck because I allowed Fear in. Fear clouded my mind with indecision. The moment, the SECOND after I made a move…I was ready for the next step.
Well, I can only beat this horse so much. (No, I don’t beat animals) With that said…

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.” Benjamin Franklin

Now, let’s switch gears. I knew that I was ill. I NEVER had any idea just how ill I was. That was until I reviewed my medical records. We are talking about major systems shutdown. According to the records, I was a member of the walking dead. WOWZERS! When the staff voice their surprise and awe that I still walk amongst them I now know why.

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A suggestion, if you have access to or can get access to your medical records, you should do so. If for nothing else to have an idea of what all of those tests really mean. Plus, I understand that it can be used to communicate with your healthcare professional. THAT would be awesome because as symptoms happen they can be documented and addressed at your next appointment. The possible uses for are endless. I’ve used that information to put on a “carry always” medical info card. Because my mobile locks itself after five minutes. (I also carry a flash drive with most recent MRI and CT scans and medications) I like to prepare just in case something happens and I am unchaperoned.

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Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever read something that just made you feel creepy, gross? Well, I have. A few days ago, I read a profile that just made my flesh crawl. The oddest thing is that there wasn’t really anything particularly harsh or profane. I just felt…..yucky after reading it.

I can’t think of anything else to prattle on about. So I’m going to end with an Alanis Morissette song mash-up…

nothing owed

I wake up and first things first
I’m of service
I make sure your needs are met, I’m so selfless
I give hard and serve hard and now I, I need a break
I give in, I give all and now it’s time to regenerate

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

Today’s all about me, all about how I’m feeling
Today’s all about me learning how, how to receive
How to receive,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I am “sad.” I feel “sadness” in my heart. SAD not “depressed”

I stand here, looking out of the window, listening to Bent’s Swollen. I stand here thinking about how “sad” I am right now. Worry not, this isn’t an “Awwww poor baby” post. 😆

I am sad….
because, unless the bulk of humanity changes, we are doomed.
because I see fewer and fewer children in the out of doors, playing.
because I see people fight with themselves when deciding betwixt “right” and “wrong” when the choice is “easy.” Just do the right thing!
because those who need to be heard, who should be heard…aren’t heard.
because I am baffled about … just about everything.
because some where, some when – some one is cold, hungry, alone and afraid.
because I’ve not yet met a people whose technology would appear “magical” to me. (just seeing if you’re paying attention. Or am I?)

I am sad…
because of bloodshed over ….
pieces of metal
pieces of paper
how one group acknowledges the Supreme Being
who loves whom
land
water
cattle
dogs
football (American and European)
a pair of trainers
the latest designer fad
gold
oil
a perceived slight
a fight decades old, yet unresolved
because our respective government/rulers have forgotten that they “rule”/”lead” at the whim of the people. (With the exception of a few monarchies)

I am saddened because…
although there are a few people who “get it,” enough do not “get it.”
because as much as I welcome change, I dread the changes taking place in the world today.
because people just don’t get that…..(homage to A Fine Frenzy)

We were all one cell in the sea in the beginning.

Although I am saddened, I do believe that there is hope. LOL, I have faith in humans. I believe, that eventually they’ll do the right thing…..eventually. Let’s hope it won’t be too late.

Oh, I say “sad” not “depressed” because, I know that we can change. It is because of that knowledge that I’m not depressed.

Well, I’m needed in another place in time!

a pui tardi

Yeah, I AM of peace!

I’m discovering the “healing” properties of music

So Unsexy

Alanis Morissette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I’m all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I’m 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I’m deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I’m devastated

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

When will I stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

nothing much has changed re: my health. So, I’ve decided that until that happens, there really isn’t any need to continue to discuss it.

HOWEVER, I will say this. As the patient TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN YOUR TREATMENT PLAN. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR PHYSICIAN TO ARBITRARILY FLOOD YOUR BODY WITH DRUGS. I am/was amazed at alternative drugs out there with little to NO life threatening and disgusting side affects. All I did was GOOGLE “alternatives to insert drug” and took them to my doctor and ask “why don’t/didn’t we try these?” Use the Internet for more than looking at boobs and other pornographic images. USE THE TOOL!!! It will also demonstrate to your physician that you are not going to just accept anything he/she says. TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN YOUR HEALING. That just makes sense. ✌😜

As usual,

I am of peace.

A pui tardi. Ciao ciao!

Got the Sandalwood burning…

I’m ♫ soundtracking “Becoming More Peaceful” by Nawang Khechog http://sdtk.fm/x1g8zN

Had a delightful dinner with some really good people. And I behaved myself. I had the fruit bowl.
What is the APOD (Astronomy Picture Of the Day)?

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Opportunity Rover Spots Greeley Haven on Mars

Image Credit: Mars Exploration Rover Mission, Cornell, JPL, NASA

changing the subject

The discussion of legalising marijuana in the Commonwealth of Virginia has or is rearing its head again……

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Of course, the nay Sayers use as their “drive the nail home point” that they wouldn’t want buzzed people on the roads. I started to wonder…..

We probably pass (on our respective highways 100s if not 1000s of people, already high on….

20120125-220759.jpg. just sayin’

My next topic…..

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I have discovered that if I am to avoid hurting the feeling of a few of those closest to me; I’ve discovered that I must cease and desist all authentic communication with them and basically lie to them. Wait a mo..not lie, but interpret the “facts” of a moment based on their world view and then agree with that skewed (notice,I didn’t say warped, fucked up, idiotic, just where the hell do you live) point of view. I’m up for the challenge.

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It’s the year of the Dragon….

This is what my “horoscope” says. (I found this on the web somewhere.)
Thank goodness for open spaces, because the Horse needs plenty of room to roam! true
Energetic, good with money and very fond of travel, Horses are the nomads of the Chinese Zodiac, roaming from one place or project to the next. yes, ok, yes
All of this Sign’s incessant activity and searching may be to satisfy a deep-rooted desire to fit in. don’t know about this
Paradoxically, Horses feel a simultaneous yearning for independence and freedom. true
Horses crave love and intimacy, which is a double-edged sword since it often leads them to feel trapped. don’t know about “crave.”
Love connections tend to come easily to Horses, since they exude the kind of raw sex appeal that is a magnet to others. oh really now? REALLY?
This Sign tends to come on very strong in the beginning of the relationship, having an almost innate sense of romance and seduction. Horses are seducers in general; check out any A-list party and you’re bound to find the Horse in attendance. This Sign possesses a sharp wit and a scintillating presence; it really knows how to work a crowd. ok, yeah
Surprisingly, Horses tend to feel a bit inferior to their peers, a misconception that causes them to drift from group to group out of an irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud. inferior re: how to handle social situations where strong emotions are involved, yeah
An impatient streak can lead Horses to be less than sensitive to others’ needs. I am probably the MOST patient man on the planetThese colts would rather take a situation firmly in hand as opposed to waiting for others to weigh in or come to terms with it. OK
The lone wolf inside the Horse can at times push others away, but this also makes this Sign stronger and is a key to its success. most time I manage to push people into the arms of another. A story for another day.
Horses are self-reliant and, though they might lose interest fast in a tedious, nine-to-five day job, are willing to do the work necessary to get ahead. true
Horses tend not to look much at the big picture; instead they just follow their whims, which can result in a trail of prematurely ended relationships, jobs, projects and so on. nyet! I always take the “big picture” into consideration
This Sign really knows how to motivate others, though, and get a lot accomplished.
Once they find some peace within themselves my never ending search, they can curb their wandering tendencies and learn to appreciate what’s in their own backyard.

Ok….really?

Well, I’m outta here like spit through a trumpet!

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a pui tardi

My forgetfulness

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Ok, today I had the biggest freak out moment. The cause, (see above image). You see, I left the house without it.

Over the holidays, my niece and I often joked about how we had iPhone in our blood. She, her mom and I joked about how we wake in the middle of the night, just to touch it.

fast forward
“I need to phone Donna about…”
“ahhh, the light is striking that trolley….”
“what was the name of that song?”
“I could Google that.”
“I need that app.”
“Crap, did I reply to that e-mail?”
“Send a text message.”
“Check for e-mail”

So, now I’m at my destination. And I have no music to do my laps.

There were 100s of little things that I do using that little hand held device and I do not have it.

And for 30 minutes….I WAS LOST.

a pui tardi