Category Archives: Holding you back

E ‘stato un po ‘. and a few things have changed…here

Humm,

I try to post that whenever and wherever I can.

Bear with me, I’ve not worked from the desktop in a while. The feel of an actual keyboard is …odd.

Because I love Domo-kun.

OK, here we go…

Closure. Can we talk?

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call Timmy) who expressed that he wished that his friend (Billy) would talk about, a dark place in his life.

So, you know me. I asked,”What purpose would that serve him? Why would Billy wish to think about that period? Why would he want to re-live that? He has learned from it. He has become a much better person. He is actually happy; and, he has apparently moved on. Hell, he is thriving now as opposed to then. So why would he need to discuss that time?”

Now, here is the key, I think.

“Because I want him to discuss it so that I can have some closure.”

I am really startled. “Just why do you need closure on Billy’s problem? I am really curious to hear your answer to this.

Because, (reasons aren’t really relevant) but to sum it up. Timmy feels that because he went through those things with Billy, and that things were said about Timmy that “just weren’t true,” yada yada ya – ex-chetra (yeah, I know, watch Community)…..

“OK, do you not think Timmy has considered the source? Has he not apologised repeatedly? Has he not given you the ‘credit’ you’re due?”

I see where this is going so I raise a finger and say…

What you want, is to talk about YOU.
What YOU want is to talk about how YOU feel/felt.
What YOU want is to be the centre of attention.

If YOU need to discuss it, why don’t YOU talk to a therapist?

I thought you did those things out of concern, love and affection. Not to have something to bring up everytime you have an opportunity just so that you can say what you’ve done, and how you helped….

Subject changed….

So “closure” is it really for the “victim/survivor” or their “friends?”

a pui tardi

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How long…

does anyone else have trouble recalling past blogs? Did I do this one here, on perhaps on YouTube?

Query: realistically, how long can a person blame their parents/caregivers for the “crap” of their lives?

I ask this because, lately I’ve been hearing “I’m this way because my mom didn’t do this.”

“I’m this way because my dad was never home.”

I am a bit bothered by this. I’m asking myself, “What about … PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?”

It seems to me that’s what is lacking in the world today. We choose to place blame at the feet of others as opposed to “man-ing up” and saying that we are because of decisions I made. My life “sucks” not because my mom didn’t buy me a pair of trainers or

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

A few things today.

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

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“This is the best that I can do without being fake. Honestly, I lack the emotional skills to be any happier than I am right now. I am sorry that this is not enough for you.”

My response to recent news that would have anyone else jumping for joy and shouting it from the rooftops. That is just not how I behave and to ask me to otherwise, well I won’t do that. So, deal with it!

Now don’t get me wrong, it registered, and I felt, but not enough to make a spectacle of myself. But that lead me to other thoughts and social scenes where my lack of affect made me stand out like a sore thumb.

People just don’t get that it is a MAJOR chore for me to do anything socially. It isn’t for fear of using the wrong fork or saying the wrong thing (well actually it does have more to do with saying the wrong thing, but that goes with the not understanding the intricacies of humour and wit.)

Oh well, kinda over that topic.

Last week was a busy one. Wasn’t able to get to the gym, but, had a week-long workout. With the digging and shovelling, moving this here and there, and mowing and raking. Well you get the hint. I just can’t wait until the new week started. In addition, I was able to take many of the things learned in the gym and apply them at home I will be able to return to my regular schedule. I like the break in routine; yet, returning to a set pattern is much anticipated. However, I am going to add something to that schedule. I will start riding my bike again 1st thing in the morn.

Next…..

“What are you, a fucking witch?” Not just a witch, but a “fucking” one at that!

I seem to attract the curious/hateful ones. I just don’t know why. I guess its the same as how children, animals and old people seem to flock to me. So, I am going to answer your questions in order received. Some answered with a question, just to see if you are paying attention.

1. When will we move past labels? Define witch.
2. I think this is a joke; at least I hope so? I have never ridden a broom and I don’t know anyone who has. I’ve seen a few people jump a broom or two, but ride, can’t say that I have. Do you realise how silly that would look? I mean REALLY. If anything, I like to go on a magic carpet ride. 🙂 did ya get that or is it soaring overhead on a broom?
3. I do not own, not have I ever owned a cauldron. I have done some cauldron work. Just to see what the hoopla was about. Wasn’t impressed.
4. Spells, incantations, yeah I know a few. You know a few prayers don’t ya? Kinda the same thing. If you really look at it. Really, requesting something from an “external/internal” source.
5. No, I can’t turn anyone into anything. REALLY. You’ve been watching too much Bewitched or Charmed or any of those shows that show stuff like that. But wouldn’t that be a hoot! Someone does something annoying and “poof” you’re a toad. But consider this, toads multiply at a ferocious rate. I’d much rather have one person not like me than 1,000s. (not an original thought, but…)
6. I have never sacrificed a small human or animal. I don’t Yeah, the folklore says that “witches” make sacrifices to…
7. No, I DO NOT WORSHIP SATAN. I mean, come on dude (or dudette), REALLY??? Stop watching late night television. Do you know how to use google?
8. Do I believe in God? (Which one because it appears that there are as many Gods as there are religions and just as many “holy texts”?) and it appears that more crap is done in “his name,” than in any pagan god’s name. Think about it!
9. Will I go to “heaven or hell?” Honestly, this place in which we live is hell to me. Pain, despair, hunger, war, disease, pestilence …. What is the difference betwixt my “hell” and your “hell?” As for the other place, I guess we shall see. Or will I?
10. Since I like myself soooo much, I’ve never found/seen the need to do the “coven” thing. Considering that I do not feel the need to do any group worship service thing, that would not appeal to me.
11. Yes, I’ve danced naked by the pale moonlight. IN THE PRIVACY OF MY HOME. I actually got that one. It’s a quote from one of those Batman films.

So I am thinking this is a joke. But it has been fun.

Oh, I do not like name droppers.

••••••

Do I look like an unlettered country oaf? Why do people think I am well, stupid? Why are they amazed at what I know?

a pui tardi

Our suffering stems…

Keep constantly in mind in how many things you yourself have witnessed changes already. The universe is change, life is understanding. – Marcus Aurelius

When I first thought to use this, my intent was to weave one image. But that weaving has been set aside. Instead, I am thinking that…

“Our suffering stems from ignorance. We react because we do not know what we are doing, because we do not know the reality of ourselves. The mind spends most of the time lost in fantasies and illusions, reliving pleasant or unpleasant experiences and anticipating the future with eagerness or fear. While lost in such cravings or aversions, we are unaware of what is happening now, what we are doing now. Yet surely this moment, now, is the most important for us. We cannot live in the past; it is gone. Nor can we live in the future; it is forever beyond our grasp. We can live only in the present. If we are unaware of our present actions, we are condemned to repeating the mistakes of the past and can never succeed in attaining our dreams for the future. But if we can develop the ability to be aware of the present moment, we can use the past as a guide for ordering our actions in the future, so that we may attain our goal.” – S.N. Goenka

Fear, Attachment, Arrogance, Dogma and Money…HOLDING YOU BACK…

Here are five things that are holding you back in life. Because of these five things we often miss out on a wealth of experiences, dreams and fall short of our (or are they really our) childhood aspirations.

5 things that hold you back in life

If you recognise even one of these things in your own life you need to make a change before it is too late. We all have the power to make a change, even if it is the hardest thing in the world to do.

1. Fear

Fear is the number one thing that will hold you back in life.

People who have a lot of fear never end up achieving their goals in life because they are too afraid of what they might achieve or have to go through to bring about those achievements. Fear.

2. Attachment

The next thing that will hold you back is attachment. This attachment comes in many forms and it is extremely powerful as it is something that humans do very well. The downside, however, is that nothing good ever comes from attachment. It always causes suffering.

Take a look at yourself and see if you are attached to anything and then see whether that attachment is holding you back. You might be fond of your homeland, parents or current lifestyle and that fondness might be stopping you from moving forward. A Buddhist master once said that if you want to be happy you need to leave your homeland as soon as you are able. Attachment.

3. Arrogance

Some of my relatives and a few of my friends are extremely arrogant. They think they have all the answers about life and business and religion. The problem is they are all really unhappy. I believe that if they just took a few minutes to get out of their own way they could begin to discover a lot more in life.

Never assume that you have all the answers. Always ask questions and keep a sense of curiosity. Even the most learned people like Albert Einstein and the Dalai Lama keep a sense of humility because they realize that there is still so much to be learned and discovered. Arrogance.

4. Dogma

Dogma is a very dangerous thing. It is where you become so blinded to a way of thinking that you are closed off to all other possibilities. It is where you accept something as fact without taking the time to really establish whether or not it accurate. And, like all things here today, dogma is holding you back in a big way.

Dogma, especially religious dogma, stops you from finding the real “juice” of the subject. When you are dogmatic about your religion you lose touch of the essence as you are so caught up in defending your own position, even to yourself. Religion, in its truest sense, is supposed to make you more open and spacious, not less. Avoid dogma if you want to grow internally. Dogma

and last but not least…

5. Money

The quest to earn more money holds you back as much as anything does. The journey to be financially free has ruined more people’s chance at happiness than anything else. I honestly wonder how much better life would have been for my parents if they had spent their time learning about satisfaction as opposed to wanting something better. Perhaps their life would have been all the more fulfilling.

Don’t let money hold you back in life. If you find that you are putting work ahead of family, spirituality or other more genuine pursuits in life then you need to make a change. It will be a source of regret in the future.

Most of the time it is your own negative emotions that hold you back in life. The opportunities for happiness and success are out there, you just need to make sure you are willing and able to get them. If anyone has any other thoughts about things that hold us back in life please drop a comment and let us know. Money

I snagged this from one of the RSS feeds to which I subscribe and tweaked it a bit. You know I had to put my “stink” on it.

Why do they say that? “Putting one’s stink on something?”

RSS (Rich Site Summary) is a format for delivering regularly changing web content. Many news-related sites, weblogs and other online publishers syndicate their content as an RSS Feed to whoever wants it.

🙂