Category Archives: la vita nuova

Weaving a very messy pattern and You Tube, why I’m not avidly vlogging anymore.

These past few days are a blur and I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why. Because I no longer have a “schedule set in stone.”

I’ve been giving some thoughts to a vlog a friend shared with me a few weeks ago.

I too, was an avid YouTuber, as you well know, sometimes posting several blogs in a day. Those were the days of zzz33333, bbleaver, Loreleila, Kellyn and fckuvrymuch (aka thnkuvrymuch) or something like that and way too many others to try to name. But something happened. Life, happened. I know that in my case, relocating to a new state, looking for employment, my remaining parent dying, a really good friend going to jail, having a decade old relationship circle the drain…all took a toll. And I just didn’t “feel” like being in front of camera. Another reason, and I freely admit it, is vanity.

Vanity, thy name is Drew.

Each emotional or physical hurdle I faced, instead of, at the time, facing them. I “ate” my way through them. As a result, well, you could have called me “Tubby, Tubby Two by four.” I removed myself from both the real world and the virtual one. Actually, that removal was only a partial removal.

Vlogging was an outlet, a place to find those of like (and in some cases “unlike”) minds. Then, it was a “tool.” It was a soapbox…a global soapbox. It still is to some extent, but it is now such a commercial venture that it has lost its appeal – too me at least. I CHERISH the bonds I’ve forged with some Tubers. I’ve kept in touch with those who have not strayed from their respective paths. I believe that they have only become brighter beacons for their beliefs. But then again, these are my opinions.

So, to shuck this to the cob, I don’t know why I don’t vlog anymore. I’ve plenty to talk about. I’ve plenty of questions that need answers. As I sit here and ramble, I am thinking about YT ideas. I do know one (YouTube) that I will do. It is something that I think needs to be said and said by more people. Humm, perhaps I just need the proper push. And that push isn’t today.

It is my opinion, my belief that the United States should not involve itself in the Syrian conflict.

“If not us, who?”
“Someone else.”

Did I mention that there is no rhyme or reason to this post?

I’ve been re-visiting the “baby voice” thing. I think that why I am so bothered by it because everyone who has ever used that voice (male or female) was trying to get their way. Perhaps, “manipulation” was the wrong word. I’ll use “coerce, which is nothing more than forceful manipulation in my mind.” And I hate to be coerced into anything. I’d rather you just ask me!!! I’ve seen the women (not all) use that voice to wrap the men in their lives around their finger. I’ve seen men use it to coax another hour or two of football out of their wives. But, I’ve come to a fix for that. I just do not respond to the person using it. I “shut down.” I stare at them with a blank, empty expression and wait until they, in frustration, use the “grown-up” voice and only respond to the “adult” voice. Keep in mind, the above just could be a crock! Who really knows why that bothers me. I don’t know why. I just know that it does. It could also just be one of those things that make me less than adorable. 🙂

I am ever curious. So, I’ve a few questions…
What is the big deal about gay marriage, gays in general, marijuana and the legalisation of marijuana?
Why are more people STILL talking about the Cyrus girl? Who really gives rip?
Why aren’t we talking about the “Japanese” irradiated water? Are we not concerned about the long term affects and environmental dangers?
Why has the term “restrictive democracy” been floating through my mind?

I am sure this is old news to some, but Yahoo! bought Tumblr. I am not happy at all! But, I think I may have found a way around the “blockade.” I’ll let you know if it worked.

Health Update
🙂 I am responding well to the current medications. I’ve only had very mild episodes. They come and as quickly as they come, they leave.

There are some days when I am so racked with pain, that…. But once that passes, I’m ok.
That’s what I’m saying now. Because in comparison to a few months ago….I’M GREAT!!!!

My expiry date has been extended by a few more months. yay!!! \O/ of that I’m of mixed emotions.
I still can’t drive or leave the house unsupervised. (Although I did yesterday. I walked around the short block.) SIDEBAR I’ve never realised at how…conformist the neighbourhood is. There are only four styles of homes. I’ve driven through. I’ve ridden my bike through. Walking however, offered a new vantage point.

I’ve even gained 6 pounds!!! Not too happy about that either since I am still too small for my existing clothes. I don’t want to spend any additional money on new clothes. …..the decisions!

Now, if I could only sleep through the night! 🙂

Thinking about putting in a Fall/Winter garden. If I decide, they’ll be container gardens. This link is to my local cooperative extension, but some of the information may prove useful. The Virginia Cooperative Extension. You may want to “Google” cooperative extension for your area.
A free gardening tip Websites and “professional” growers are a great source of general knowledge. However, do not discount the “old neighbour backyard farmer.” He/She knows the soil. They know what works in their ecosystem much better than the kid at the local big box super hardware store that just happens to carry plants. Just sayin’

I want to attach an image to this post. I just can’t find “the image.”

20130910-114800.jpg and this is the image…not an original snap. I found it on the inter-webs, but the colour edit by Snapseed.

I’m really pleased to be around for iOS7. I am over excited about its release and will most likely be disappointed. Unless there are serious upgrades to Siri, from what I can see, these updates are cosmetic in nature. (from what I’ve read at least)

Last but certainly not least!
Thank you new subscribers! Thank you subscribers who have been here from the beginning! I appreciate your comments and your likes.

Well, I’m off out!

I am of peace…most of the time.

a pui tardi

A photo blog – Olde Towne Portsmouth (Virginia)

Today’s blog is dedicated to…http://intheheartofhappy.com

These snaps were taken today in Olde Towne Portsmouth. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portsmouth,_Virginia

After a great lunch with ……https://www.facebook.com/thisisHomeGirl, Owner/Operator of She Bakes(https://www.facebook.com/pages/She-Bakes/310561088990716?ref=ts) at

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The food was great! The service EXCELLENT! The company….Uberawesome!!!

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http://www.commodoretheatre.com/index.php

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And here are a few of my new GetGlue stickers.

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a pui tardi

Got the Sandalwood burning…

I’m ♫ soundtracking “Becoming More Peaceful” by Nawang Khechog http://sdtk.fm/x1g8zN

Had a delightful dinner with some really good people. And I behaved myself. I had the fruit bowl.
What is the APOD (Astronomy Picture Of the Day)?

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Opportunity Rover Spots Greeley Haven on Mars

Image Credit: Mars Exploration Rover Mission, Cornell, JPL, NASA

changing the subject

The discussion of legalising marijuana in the Commonwealth of Virginia has or is rearing its head again……

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Of course, the nay Sayers use as their “drive the nail home point” that they wouldn’t want buzzed people on the roads. I started to wonder…..

We probably pass (on our respective highways 100s if not 1000s of people, already high on….

20120125-220759.jpg. just sayin’

My next topic…..

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I have discovered that if I am to avoid hurting the feeling of a few of those closest to me; I’ve discovered that I must cease and desist all authentic communication with them and basically lie to them. Wait a mo..not lie, but interpret the “facts” of a moment based on their world view and then agree with that skewed (notice,I didn’t say warped, fucked up, idiotic, just where the hell do you live) point of view. I’m up for the challenge.

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It’s the year of the Dragon….

This is what my “horoscope” says. (I found this on the web somewhere.)
Thank goodness for open spaces, because the Horse needs plenty of room to roam! true
Energetic, good with money and very fond of travel, Horses are the nomads of the Chinese Zodiac, roaming from one place or project to the next. yes, ok, yes
All of this Sign’s incessant activity and searching may be to satisfy a deep-rooted desire to fit in. don’t know about this
Paradoxically, Horses feel a simultaneous yearning for independence and freedom. true
Horses crave love and intimacy, which is a double-edged sword since it often leads them to feel trapped. don’t know about “crave.”
Love connections tend to come easily to Horses, since they exude the kind of raw sex appeal that is a magnet to others. oh really now? REALLY?
This Sign tends to come on very strong in the beginning of the relationship, having an almost innate sense of romance and seduction. Horses are seducers in general; check out any A-list party and you’re bound to find the Horse in attendance. This Sign possesses a sharp wit and a scintillating presence; it really knows how to work a crowd. ok, yeah
Surprisingly, Horses tend to feel a bit inferior to their peers, a misconception that causes them to drift from group to group out of an irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud. inferior re: how to handle social situations where strong emotions are involved, yeah
An impatient streak can lead Horses to be less than sensitive to others’ needs. I am probably the MOST patient man on the planetThese colts would rather take a situation firmly in hand as opposed to waiting for others to weigh in or come to terms with it. OK
The lone wolf inside the Horse can at times push others away, but this also makes this Sign stronger and is a key to its success. most time I manage to push people into the arms of another. A story for another day.
Horses are self-reliant and, though they might lose interest fast in a tedious, nine-to-five day job, are willing to do the work necessary to get ahead. true
Horses tend not to look much at the big picture; instead they just follow their whims, which can result in a trail of prematurely ended relationships, jobs, projects and so on. nyet! I always take the “big picture” into consideration
This Sign really knows how to motivate others, though, and get a lot accomplished.
Once they find some peace within themselves my never ending search, they can curb their wandering tendencies and learn to appreciate what’s in their own backyard.

Ok….really?

Well, I’m outta here like spit through a trumpet!

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a pui tardi

It’s Friday night and…

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#nbccommunity
#V
#weareofpeace
#modernfamily
#marvel
#sixseasonsandamovie
#cougartown

Drew, WTFrak?
This is the Frak, I’m going through the photo stream and picking images and then below hashtaging my “thoughts” when I look at it the image.

Is there a “spell checking” NEVERMIND….I told you I wasn’t a complete load… 🙂

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#conjureone
#jeangrey
#thephoenix
#spiderphoenix

oops, wow, it’s 4:40 am…..it was only 8:00 when I started this. Can’t believe that I literally fell asleep at my desk.

a pui tardi

Wow and it is just 08:19…

And I’ve already ridden the roller coaster of emotions.

I awoke smiling, humming and then singing ( 99.9% of the time that’s how I greet the world. Now keep in mind, that is only when I am alone. If others are around…DON’T BREATHE TOO HEAVILY OR I WILL CUT YOU DOWN WITH AN ICY GLARE).

But now, as I did the morning washing up (which was light as all I had was a lightly toasted bagel, a thinly sliced, lightly peppered English cucumber and a cuppa) I burst into tears. Why? For a brief moment, I caught a whiff of my mothers scent and felt…..something.

Memories, this time last year…..she and I were walking the streets of Atlanta, looking at the snow.

Alrightythen

Wow

a pui tardi

Let’s see if I can lighten the mood a bit.

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Happiness = Security … or does it?

Wow, once more into the fire.

Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?

Well, my “security” was taken away today.

(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)

Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”

But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…

Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”

“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”

Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions…..so many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.

Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )

Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )

Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)

Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)

Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)

But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”

So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?

Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?

Oh well, a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.

Complications …

Why do we complicate the simple?