Category Archives: lyrics

Sigh, heavy sigh

I’ve lost my “spark.” I know it. I feel it. It’s gone. I’ve tried to no avail to re-ignite it, but it’s gone. The things that gave me some measure of joy, those things mean nothing to me now or the amount of pleasure derived from these things has diminished. I mouth words of affection and adoration, but the feeling behind them is hollow. I mean them, but the passion and emotional energy is feigned.

I am reminded of some lyrics from the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel! I want the fire back!

Oh well, a pui tardi.

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music and messages contained therein

the lyrics used here were found on the interwebs. I’ve tried to correct them as best as I could.

You do recall that I LOVE MUSIC don’t you? I can listen to anything except Dixieland Jazz and hardcore Gangsta Rap. I can’t process the harmonics in Dixieland Jazz and the other…I think it’s just noise…rude noise. But that’s me. Lately I’ve been grooving to Miss Alanis Morissette. (Truth be told, I’m almost always grooving to her. We’ve grown up together. Her music is evidence of that. I digress) Two of her tunes in particular speak to my heart. The first is…

WIN and WIN

In my old days someone won
Those were days of win-lose
In those bleak times I was better
I sat high: looking down my nose

Changed direction: looking up
I am not worthy to be with you
We are separate, I’m inferior
I have yearnings to sit across from you

‘Cause we’re eye to eye
We are win and win
We are equal to each other
We are flames of twin
We are offspring of truth
We are partner-sister-brother

Both directions speak a lie
Up or down, I can feel you
As we battle with our power
We are separate, not looking across

‘Cause we’re eye to eye
We are win and win
We are equal to each other
We are flames of twin
We are offspring of truth
We are partner-sister-brother

These delusions of our grandeur
We are locked in the struggle
These lies of status lower
These conclusions, we’re in trouble

‘Cause we’re eye to eye
We are win and win
We are equal to each other
We are flames of twin
We are offspring of truth
We are partner- sister- brother

Same value…. same value….

The other Alanis Morissette song that speaks to me is..

receive

I wake up and first things first
I’m of service
I make sure your needs are met, I’m so selfless
I give hard and serve hard and now I, I need a break
I give big, I give all and now it’s time to regenerate

Today’s all about me, all about cup filling
Today’s all about me learning how, how to receive
How to receive,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I move on through offerings often one-sided
Being this low on list of worth: over-extended

I give hard, provide hard and now I need some relief
I look out, I proffer, and now I need some respite indeed

Today’s all about me, all about cup filling
Today’s all about me learning how, how to receive
How to receive,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

My habit to love you first and me: remainders
Favoring you is so knee-jerk, leaves me a stranger
I give hard, impart hard and now I need to retreat
I give out, dedicate and now I need to acknowledge me

Today’s all about me, all about cup filling
Today’s all about me learning how, how to receive
How to receive,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
How to receive
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
How to receive
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
How to receive
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
How to receive

Both can be found on …
20140711-063145-23505126.jpg

Who remembers The Tracey Ullman show? Do you recall the episode when one of the characters talked about having a theme tune to his life? I’ve always agreed! Once I heard Conjure One’s “Extraordinary Way,” I knew I found the theme tune to my life.

Extraordinary Way featuring Poe

What I have is nothing to my name
No property to speak of
And no trophy for my game
Intangible and worthless
My assets on the page
My coffers are empty
Any offer of safety has faded away
But what I have, what I have is

On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky, God, I’m lucky
So much luckier than I ever thought I’d be
‘Cause what I have
(What I have)
Means so very little to this world

A promise that I kept
And a bridge that I saved before it burned
The sacrifice that I made
Brought me to my knees

A choice that cost me everything
And set somebody else free
But what I have is the value
That you see in these things

On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky, God I’m lucky
So much luckier than I ever thought I’d be
‘Cause what I have is the value
That you see in these things

And every time I forget those things
You bring them right back to me

With your patience
When I’m blinding mad
And your passion
When I’m really, really bad

And your eyes, taking in everything I am
And your body and soul
And the way that you know
How I treasure you

On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky, God, I’m so lucky
So much luckier than I ever thought I’d be

On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day, the extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this.

I can’t tell you what messages are contained therein. What you take away from each is up to you. Heck, the possibility exists that you’ll feel nothing. And guess what my friends. That’s ok.✌️

Well, I’m off out! A pui tardì!

I am of peace.

Random “vedekdrew/Drew” trivia, part one of ???

If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Trick question.

What does your latest text message from someone else say?
It’s already 80 here and of course I’M BOILING!!!

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
It depends on my mood

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
One of three things, either gardening, looking at the sky or taking pictures.

Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind….sometimes I’ll snap a gpom

What does your URL mean?
It’s my online identity. It comes from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. A “Vedek” (comparable to a Cardinal or a Bishop) is the second highest level of the Bajoran religion, also make up the Vedek Assembly, the committee which is responsible for the spiritual issues of the Bajoran people. And Drew, well that’s another identity. 🙂

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes, one Summer almost every week-end

Who is your celebrity crush?
I have a “man crush” on Scott K. Foley. I also adore Kate Mulgrew

How do you vent your anger?
Depends on what or at whom I am angry.

Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect post cards

I’m discovering the “healing” properties of music

So Unsexy

Alanis Morissette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I’m all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I’m 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I’m deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I’m devastated

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

When will I stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

nothing much has changed re: my health. So, I’ve decided that until that happens, there really isn’t any need to continue to discuss it.

HOWEVER, I will say this. As the patient TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN YOUR TREATMENT PLAN. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR PHYSICIAN TO ARBITRARILY FLOOD YOUR BODY WITH DRUGS. I am/was amazed at alternative drugs out there with little to NO life threatening and disgusting side affects. All I did was GOOGLE “alternatives to insert drug” and took them to my doctor and ask “why don’t/didn’t we try these?” Use the Internet for more than looking at boobs and other pornographic images. USE THE TOOL!!! It will also demonstrate to your physician that you are not going to just accept anything he/she says. TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN YOUR HEALING. That just makes sense. ✌😜

As usual,

I am of peace.

A pui tardi. Ciao ciao!

Fear and Love – MORCHEEBA

We always have a choice
Or at least I think we do
We can always use our voice
I thought this to be true

We can live in fear
Extend ourselves to love
Or we can fall below
Or lift ourselves above

Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it’s not always that clear

I always try so hard
To share myself around
But now I’m closing up again
Drilling through the ground

Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it’s not always that clear

I’d love to give myself away
But I find it hard to trust
I’ve got no map to find my way
Amongst these clouds of dust

Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear

Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it’s not always that clear

But it’s not always that clear
But it’s not always that clear
But it’s not always that clear
But it’s not always that clear

….. just sayin’

The voice speaks of an … Endless Dream – Conjure One

Music plays a HUGE part of my life. I draw from it – lessons, meaning and answers.

It’s all coming back to me now
That strange and almost endless dream
Where I was you and you were me
You opened up your eyes and I could see
That you were falling from the world
As aimless as a shooting star in orbit around me
Thinking I was somebody else
And terrified to look at me and see yourself, well…

You are like a dream
And I am just a trip that you are on
When the trip is over you will go back
To the places that you once beloved
You will look for comfort there
And when you do you’ll find that it has gone
That is when you’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And then you’ll know my love

So don’t be afraid
Your heart is in me
And it’s racing so fast now
‘Cause everything we ever were or ever will be
Is shapeless as a changing cloud
Your letter written on the sky
I’m needing now to read it through my eyes
When you see just what I see
Then tenderly watch it change
And just let it be

‘Cause I am like a dream
And you are just a trip that I am on
When the trip is over I will go back
To the places that I once beloved
And I will look for comfort there
And when I do I know it will be gone
That is when I’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And then I’ll know your love

…so quiet now…

This is just some trip that we are on
When the trip is over we will think of this
As someplace that we once beloved
When I find no comfort here
I’ll look again to find it in your arms
That is where I’ll dream a dream
Where I am you and you are me
And that’s where I know love

Lyrics from one of my favs

This is not the post that was originally set to go here (hehehehe – I have no idea why the giggle) but after a few failed attempts last night, I decided, after listening to Conjure One most of yestereve and this am..to use this as my 1st blog of the week..hehehe)


Manic Star

Conjure One

One day, yes, one day less to live I want you to be my sedative Sometimes when I drive my car I feel trapped like a bee inside a jar

Grains of sand is all we are Crawling on our manic star One tiny person In one shiny car Spinning on our manic star

Time doesn’t stop for anyone It doesn’t matter what you’ve done I want to lose myself in you Are you afraid of dying too?

Grains of sand is all we are Crawling on our manic star One tiny person In one shiny car Calling from our manic star

Let’s love like there is no tomorrow Shelter each other from the pain and sorrow

Grains of sand is all we are Crawling on our manic star One tiny person In one shiny car

Don’t know how I got this scar Crawling on our manic star I’m all right, at least so far Hanging on our manic star

Spinning on our manic star Calling from our manic star

lyrics by CONJURE ONE