Category Archives: meditation. prayers

Written under the influence…

…of binaural beats.
I don’t know if it’s it a bunch of bullspit or not. I went into it with the, “it won’t hurt” mindset.

After a few days, I may have to change my mind. I’ve been able to focus. I’ve been pleasant. I mean smiling and laughing with people instead of at them “pleasant.” My creativity has increased (at least I think it has.)

Could it be the binaural cocktail of “morning meditation” then a little “positive energy boost” I throw in a bit of “creativity boost.” The final beat …”pre-exercise workout.” I down that and B A M, I am ready for the morning! I shall continue with this experiment and provide periodic reports.

This is the app I use.

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Have you tried binaural beats? If “yes,” what were/are your thoughts? If, “no,” oh, ok.

I think I’m going to return to “the tube.” Ive been toying around with the idea for a few months/years now. I’d make the occasional vlog here and there. (Somehow, I’ve a second channel. I made it by mistake, if there can be such a thing. ( a “mistake, not the second channel.)
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I’ve discovered that my technology may be somewhat outdated. Oops, let me rephrase that some of my tech (primarily the built in camera on Laptop-O) HOWEVER, on a few test captures using the mobile, I may be able to overcome that obstacle (I finally get to put the Gorilla tripod to good use. YAY \o/ )

I am not an ungrateful person at all. No one has ever said that I was ungrateful (at least not to my face). But there are thoughts that I have that if voiced aloud make me sound it.

Just because

I am of peace

does not mean that I don’t get angry, pissed off and just downright MAD. Have I mentioned that before? No, I’m not only telling this to people who are “surprised” when I blow up; I am also telling this to MYSELF. Lately, I have been having these internal RAGES that leave me weak and ashamed. Yes, I said ashamed. I am ashamed because, these rages come with images and entire dialogues that are filled with nothing but bile and venom. In a FLASH, I kid you not, I can go from elation to caged wolverine. WTFraks up with that?

That was rhetorical. However, if you’d like to chime in, please do so. 👍

I am single because I don’t put my self out in the world to meet people. I am jaded and bitter. I’ve trust issues. The idea of pair bonding does appeal to me. However, I’ve neither the time, the emotional wherewithal or even the desire to be coupled with anyone – any more. I’ve tried it. Everytime I tried it, the relationship outlived the previous. Which should be a good thing. However, that only means the “hurt” the “heartbreak” lasts longer each time. (ZOMG! My ocular implants are malfunctioning. They appear to be leaking.)

Any whooooo…

I do like my new house. I can’t quite call it home. I don’t “feel” like it is “home.” The fault lies with no one. I’ve not felt like I’ve had a “home” in decades. I can’t recall. Oh well. That’s an obsessive thought for another time.

Someone is getting the hang of the Twitter. 😄😄😄😜 Yep, I’m there too. Click here > the Twitter

I should point out that just like on Instagram, I am not a “follow for follow” kinda guy. If your feed is open, I’ll check it out. And if there is something there that makes me say, hummm, I’ll hang out. 🙂 just an FYI. I need to spend more “real-time” on the Twitter. The majority of my tweets are “bot” redirect/shares. Every now and again, I do have an origi thought. “Origi” jejejeje

As I gazed out the window for a bit,
My eye caught a blaze of gold and green
A splash of colour
a drop of rain
Blow winds
chill Fall breeze
Is it Fall
I only “know” BOILING and FREEZING
Wow
I see a runner
Wishing, longing, missing
I gaze
{chime chime chime}
Text message…
There’s that hurt

As I gazed out the window

by the Gods of Sky and Earth

Oh well

A pui tardí

✌️

Well now, the old Drewster can’t seem to catch a break!!!

LOL! I’m laughing because if I don’t I’m going on a murderous rampage.

Well, it seems that the “life saving” drugs I’m taking all have an unexpected – no, undisclosed side affects. GOUT yes, the build-up of Uric Acid has reached the point where, jejeje, I can’t walk without SERIOUS pain. Oh, the other nasty side affect, KIDNEY STONES yay!!! \O/ I won’t share how I discovered that! Ewww

So, lets recap. I’ve an inoperable mass in my brain. I’ve lesions, I’m sorry a lesion, around the mass. As a result, my immune system is almost non-existent. The meds only make me sicker, but I’m “guaranteed” that this course of treatment is better than the alternative……death. I’m not sure about that. THIS SHIT BLOWS CHUNKS.

Changing the subject…. I think I’ve found a online storage site for the 5,000+ photos on my mobile and the 1,000+ on my tablet. That should free up some storage space. It’s called MyShoebox. It’s free and offers unlimited storage. With my luck, it will go out of business and I’ll lose all of my pics. Of course, I’ve kept a few on my devices. Images of my sainted mother 😄.

Humm, what else? The creative process; I’m going to give a “free flowing” and just let the images flow. We’ll see what happens.

Hey, anyone know how to “mass delete” photos from a tablet and mobile?

Hummm, I can’t think of anything else right now. So, until later…

I am of peace. ✌

Ciao ciao!!!

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My place for personal “a-ha” moments

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Now, honestly, most posts will be auto-redirects to the #soundtracking of my life. 🙂

However, it is also a reintroduction of me to WP and You, the guys and gals who follow.

Today I was once again….

…reminded that the Universe; she does in fact take care of her own. Perhaps in her own time, but she does nonetheless.

What happened? Something that thought I would have to “fight” for was given freely and openly.

Well, the advert (for my new venture) has been placed. No serious inquiries as of yet…fingers crossed.

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That’s what I’ve been doing of late.

I’ve also been banging a few discussions around….and this really odd theory of sexuality that popped into my head whilst I was doing the morning washing up.

Ok, as I write this, I’m listening to Skye (Edwards) I love her voice. (She also fronts for my favourite all time trip-hop band, Morcheeba.) Just in case you were wondering..

I think I am going to bite the bullet and do it. What are you going to do Drew?

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I have to do it. If I am going to return to the world of comic books, what a time to start and what a title. Oh, speaking of….

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as usual, the stickers were provided by GetGlue.com.

Ahhhhh, here it is….

Tell me all about your day.
So good to hear from you.
Tell me about your day.
Feels good to speak to you.

Tell me about your day, by Skye. I just ❤❤ her voice..it makes everything ok again.

Anywhooooo

The other day, actually a few weeks ago. A friend said that she was under the impression that I was a submissive.

Me? Submissive? Have you met me?

Well you always tell me to tell you what to do

That’s not being submissive. That’s to prevent the beating about the bush to ask for a favour.

Oh

But that got me to thinking….is there, can there be such a thing as a dominant submissive? Humm, let’s see what Google via Wikipedia has to say….. Alrighty then, I go to Dominance and Submission and the first thing I saw…well, you clicked the link. 🙂 Let me put it to you this way….moving on rather rapidly.

Where can I go from there? Hummmm,

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I am really digging this show! BeingHuman(US) has really grown on me. I will admit however, that the original, UK version is my favourite. Not because it’s “better,” just because. 🙂

Well, I think I’m done….my theory of sexuality……I’m still working on it, so until I’ve made more sense out of it….. afterthought, it’s not really intense, and honestly has nothing to do with sex per se

a pui tardi

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Another blog, brought to you by……GetGlue.com and …..

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Ok, I’m also thinking about “peers.”

A few days ago, I listened to this kid complain about his mother.
Now, I will admit, she is a piece of work!! But I kept my mouth shut, until he said one thing.

I would think that we would be peers by now.”

“Young sir, if you live to be a thousand, and she two, you WILL NEVER BE A PEER TO YOUR MOTHER or FATHER.” You may earn more, be better educated, younger and a laundry list of “plusses” in your column; but you will never be their peer. And for your relationship to progress and be less stressful to you and those around you; you need to realise and accept that fact. NEVER

a pui tardi

Happiness = Security … or does it?

Wow, once more into the fire.

Would you, could you agree that happiness = security? That without “security” we can’t be happy?

Well, my “security” was taken away today.

(The details aren’t important as they would mean nothing to you. Not being mean or secretive, just telling the “truth.”)

Yet, I’ve not noticed a noticeable drop OR rise in my “happiness.” So is that a valid equation? I have no idea if this loss of “assumed security,” if it is a permanent or temporary situation. However, permanent or temporary the situation, ” ‘life’ will go on.”

But, I’m reflecting on conversations and observations and things are making me say hummm…

Now, one voice is calmly whispering in my ear “the universe will take care of her own.”

“your happiness level hasn’t changed because your “true” security hasn’t been taken away.”

Ok, that is one voice. The other is running the gambit. Dealing with an entire range of human emotions…..so many that I can not/am not equipped to handle them.

Anger (I am always angry. My mother says that I was an angry baby. Not a bite you angry, just this disapproving scowl. But this is different. This time I am more angry with myself for the poorly conceived decisions I made and honestly for listening to ANYTHING except my head. )

Fear (as to the next step. Where do I go from here? )

Confusion (oh my, what to do, what to do?)

Faith (I never thought I was a person of faith. I just took it for granted that if I did “a” and “b” , “c- would happen.” but, now there is something…. Can’t put a pin on it, but….)

Blame (I always go there when I do not want to accept my role in whatever less than helpful situation I find myself. But eventually I realise that I must bear the brunt on the responsibility. And the realisation that those who wrong others and gain from that will rarely accept responsibility – so why blame them?)

But of them all I am still “happy.” Well as “happy” as I allow myself. But you know what, my happiness level is the same today as it was yesterday. (well that’s not the truth, I am in a much better mood than yester-morning. But that pissy mood was banished after Thomi and her workout. Perhaps, yesterday was a trial run…instead of RE-acting today, I PRE-acted yesterday.) But all in all, I am no more “happier” than the “norm.”

So what gives? My “assumed security” is gone, yet my “happiness” is the same. How can that be?

Am I “willing” myself happy? Or is this some type of shock?

Oh well, a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.

Ho ripulito la cartella bozze

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Yep, cleaned out the ole drafts folder. Too many fragmented thoughts. Issues -that worth commenting on THEN, that aren’t terribly important now.

As I started my hydration sequence this morning, questions started to pop into my head. Questions like,

Why can’t you blog everyday?

Why won’t you blog everyday?

For “complete happiness” (whatever that may be) what would I be willing to give up?

Can I help someone who does not want to be helped?

Why should I even care?

When am I going to work on developing a “normal” sense of humour?

Can a person be too smart/intelligent? (I think I’ve asked this before)

Is it ego? Why can’t {insert name} just see that I am “right?”

All of that whilst having a bottle of water. Wowsers!

Ora, un tentativo di rispondere a poche, se quelle domande.

But in no particular order. 🙂

Of late, I am having to ask people to explain their “jokes” to me. I just don’t get them. It’s a wee be disconcerting when someone has to tell you, “thats supposed to be funny.” my response, a furrowed brow and a delayed laugh (if I like you) or my usual, “how is that funny?” Now don’t get me wrong, I find many things hilarious. I am chuckling right now. So the development of a sense-a normal sense- of humour is on the list.

This is a two-fer. I am he. He is me. We are..

This is an easy one. For “complete happiness” [whatever that is] I would give up….

I do have a lot to say. I have thoughts, ideas, moments of “clarity” – my BOOYAKITTY moments. But, just because I can say it, should I?

Yeah it is. However, there is something to learn from the experiences of others. It’s not really about being “right” or “wrong”.

Il gioco è fatto. 🙂

a pui tardi