Why do we complicate the simple?
I try to post that whenever and wherever I can.
Bear with me, I’ve not worked from the desktop in a while. The feel of an actual keyboard is …odd.
Because I love Domo-kun.
OK, here we go…
Closure. Can we talk?
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call Timmy) who expressed that he wished that his friend (Billy) would talk about, a dark place in his life.
So, you know me. I asked,”What purpose would that serve him? Why would Billy wish to think about that period? Why would he want to re-live that? He has learned from it. He has become a much better person. He is actually happy; and, he has apparently moved on. Hell, he is thriving now as opposed to then. So why would he need to discuss that time?”
Now, here is the key, I think.
“Because I want him to discuss it so that I can have some closure.”
I am really startled. “Just why do you need closure on Billy’s problem? I am really curious to hear your answer to this.
Because, (reasons aren’t really relevant) but to sum it up. Timmy feels that because he went through those things with Billy, and that things were said about Timmy that “just weren’t true,” yada yada ya – ex-chetra (yeah, I know, watch Community)…..
“OK, do you not think Timmy has considered the source? Has he not apologised repeatedly? Has he not given you the ‘credit’ you’re due?”
I see where this is going so I raise a finger and say…
What you want, is to talk about YOU.
What YOU want is to talk about how YOU feel/felt.
What YOU want is to be the centre of attention.
If YOU need to discuss it, why don’t YOU talk to a therapist?
I thought you did those things out of concern, love and affection. Not to have something to bring up everytime you have an opportunity just so that you can say what you’ve done, and how you helped….
So “closure” is it really for the “victim/survivor” or their “friends?”
a pui tardi
does anyone else have trouble recalling past blogs? Did I do this one here, on perhaps on YouTube?
Query: realistically, how long can a person blame their parents/caregivers for the “crap” of their lives?
I ask this because, lately I’ve been hearing “I’m this way because my mom didn’t do this.”
“I’m this way because my dad was never home.”
I am a bit bothered by this. I’m asking myself, “What about … PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?”
It seems to me that’s what is lacking in the world today. We choose to place blame at the feet of others as opposed to “man-ing up” and saying that we are because of decisions I made. My life “sucks” not because my mom didn’t buy me a pair of trainers or
If you wish to move in the One Way do not dislike even the world of senses and ideas. Indeed, to accept them fully is identical with true Enlightenment. The wise man strives to no goals but the foolish man fetters himself. There is one Dharma*, not many; distinctions arise from the clinging needs of the ignorant. To seek Mind with the [discriminating] mind is the greatest of all mistakes.
– Seng-tsan, “Verses on the Faith Mind”
* Dharma in the Buddhist scriptures has a variety of meanings, including “phenomenon”, and “nature” or “characteristic”.
Dharma also means ‘mental contents’, and is paired with citta, which means heart/mind. In major sutras (for example, the Mahasatipatthana sutra), the dharma/citta pairing is paralleled with the pairing of kaya(body) and vedana (feelings or sensations, that which arise within the body but experienced through the mind).
Dharma means the source of things and Truth.
Dharma is also used to refer to the teachings of the Buddha, not in the context of the words of one man, even an enlightened man, but as a reflection of natural law which was re-discovered by this man and shared with the world. A person who lives their life with an understanding of this natural law, is a “dhammic” person, which is often translated as “righteous”.