Category Archives: rambles

I am “sad.” I feel “sadness” in my heart. SAD not “depressed”

I stand here, looking out of the window, listening to Bent’s Swollen. I stand here thinking about how “sad” I am right now. Worry not, this isn’t an “Awwww poor baby” post. 😆

I am sad….
because, unless the bulk of humanity changes, we are doomed.
because I see fewer and fewer children in the out of doors, playing.
because I see people fight with themselves when deciding betwixt “right” and “wrong” when the choice is “easy.” Just do the right thing!
because those who need to be heard, who should be heard…aren’t heard.
because I am baffled about … just about everything.
because some where, some when – some one is cold, hungry, alone and afraid.
because I’ve not yet met a people whose technology would appear “magical” to me. (just seeing if you’re paying attention. Or am I?)

I am sad…
because of bloodshed over ….
pieces of metal
pieces of paper
how one group acknowledges the Supreme Being
who loves whom
land
water
cattle
dogs
football (American and European)
a pair of trainers
the latest designer fad
gold
oil
a perceived slight
a fight decades old, yet unresolved
because our respective government/rulers have forgotten that they “rule”/”lead” at the whim of the people. (With the exception of a few monarchies)

I am saddened because…
although there are a few people who “get it,” enough do not “get it.”
because as much as I welcome change, I dread the changes taking place in the world today.
because people just don’t get that…..(homage to A Fine Frenzy)

We were all one cell in the sea in the beginning.

Although I am saddened, I do believe that there is hope. LOL, I have faith in humans. I believe, that eventually they’ll do the right thing…..eventually. Let’s hope it won’t be too late.

Oh, I say “sad” not “depressed” because, I know that we can change. It is because of that knowledge that I’m not depressed.

Well, I’m needed in another place in time!

a pui tardi

Yeah, I AM of peace!

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I’ve lost my reminder

A few days ago, I lost the last reminder of a decade old association. I cried! Well, perhaps “cried” isn’t an accurate word. A tear or two fell from an eye.

That ring was a symbol of what NOT to fall for in a person.

That ring was a symbol of what happens when one throws ALL reason out the window.

That ring was a symbol of just how rude, inconsiderate and crappy one human being can be to another.

I keep this close to heart. I really don’t need a reminder. I just have to look at the past decade plus of my life for a reminder. Hell, I am a living reminder.

Yet, the fond memories associated with the reminder…still make me blush to this day!!

LOL!!!

a pui tardi!

I am of peace…most of the time.

Tuesday, thus far (that was the original title)

Greetings and well met! Hey, how are you?

I’m trying a new format here. I would like to see if by utilising this “free writing” method, if I’ll keep up with this blog. Because I really do not know why I can’t put a few words together and tell a story. REALLY!

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My dreams have returned. Or perhaps the more accurate statement is that I am now able to recall some of the images. For the most part, they’ve been rather uneventful. Most have been down right funny. There was only one that woke me from a sound sleep….screaming. That, as one can imagine was not fun.

I’ve lost an important and inspirational influence in my life. It is my fault and I accept full responsibility. As usual, when I act from an emotional place, I cock things up. One would think that I would learn. Unfortunately for me, I do not believe that there is any chance for reconciliation. And I will BE FOREVER SADDENED BY THE LOSS.

But I can’t mend the jug with regret.

I’ve been hearing my Mother’s voice calling my name for the past few days. It was so realistic that on the past two, it actually startled me. The other day, I smelled the fragrance of her soap. I don’t use that brand…

I am finding it more and more difficult to remember my Father. I can’t even picture his face anymore.

My brother is also a concern. He worries about me. I worry about him. I worry …

Well, I’m finished with this one.

Oh no, I’m not finished!

I am tired of having to pay because our ELECTED officials can not seem to balance a check book. Why am I being taxed when I buy an item? Why am I taxed quarterly on items ALREADY taxed? Have a Hybrid? Get TAXED. Have a moped or a scooter? Get TAXED. TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX. This probably makes no sense to you. However, I know. 🙂

A pui tardi! ✌

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Ciao ciao!

Hey! Well, I was going to…

…gripe about something. But now I can’t remember.

…share a thought or two about some things that have been knocking about in my head. But, I’ve realised that those thoughts need a little more knocking before I can share.

…finish a vlog that “needs” to be finished, but I just don’t feel like it.

…move, delete, compress even more files. How in the blue hades does one fill a t.b. so quickly? What’s after a terabyte?

Oh well…a pui tardi!

E ‘stato un po ‘. and a few things have changed…here

Humm,

I try to post that whenever and wherever I can.

Bear with me, I’ve not worked from the desktop in a while. The feel of an actual keyboard is …odd.

Because I love Domo-kun.

OK, here we go…

Closure. Can we talk?

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call Timmy) who expressed that he wished that his friend (Billy) would talk about, a dark place in his life.

So, you know me. I asked,”What purpose would that serve him? Why would Billy wish to think about that period? Why would he want to re-live that? He has learned from it. He has become a much better person. He is actually happy; and, he has apparently moved on. Hell, he is thriving now as opposed to then. So why would he need to discuss that time?”

Now, here is the key, I think.

“Because I want him to discuss it so that I can have some closure.”

I am really startled. “Just why do you need closure on Billy’s problem? I am really curious to hear your answer to this.

Because, (reasons aren’t really relevant) but to sum it up. Timmy feels that because he went through those things with Billy, and that things were said about Timmy that “just weren’t true,” yada yada ya – ex-chetra (yeah, I know, watch Community)…..

“OK, do you not think Timmy has considered the source? Has he not apologised repeatedly? Has he not given you the ‘credit’ you’re due?”

I see where this is going so I raise a finger and say…

What you want, is to talk about YOU.
What YOU want is to talk about how YOU feel/felt.
What YOU want is to be the centre of attention.

If YOU need to discuss it, why don’t YOU talk to a therapist?

I thought you did those things out of concern, love and affection. Not to have something to bring up everytime you have an opportunity just so that you can say what you’ve done, and how you helped….

Subject changed….

So “closure” is it really for the “victim/survivor” or their “friends?”

a pui tardi

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

A few things today.

I do not celebrate Easter, but if you do, I am ok with that! Just sayin’

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“This is the best that I can do without being fake. Honestly, I lack the emotional skills to be any happier than I am right now. I am sorry that this is not enough for you.”

My response to recent news that would have anyone else jumping for joy and shouting it from the rooftops. That is just not how I behave and to ask me to otherwise, well I won’t do that. So, deal with it!

Now don’t get me wrong, it registered, and I felt, but not enough to make a spectacle of myself. But that lead me to other thoughts and social scenes where my lack of affect made me stand out like a sore thumb.

People just don’t get that it is a MAJOR chore for me to do anything socially. It isn’t for fear of using the wrong fork or saying the wrong thing (well actually it does have more to do with saying the wrong thing, but that goes with the not understanding the intricacies of humour and wit.)

Oh well, kinda over that topic.

Last week was a busy one. Wasn’t able to get to the gym, but, had a week-long workout. With the digging and shovelling, moving this here and there, and mowing and raking. Well you get the hint. I just can’t wait until the new week started. In addition, I was able to take many of the things learned in the gym and apply them at home I will be able to return to my regular schedule. I like the break in routine; yet, returning to a set pattern is much anticipated. However, I am going to add something to that schedule. I will start riding my bike again 1st thing in the morn.

Next…..

“What are you, a fucking witch?” Not just a witch, but a “fucking” one at that!

I seem to attract the curious/hateful ones. I just don’t know why. I guess its the same as how children, animals and old people seem to flock to me. So, I am going to answer your questions in order received. Some answered with a question, just to see if you are paying attention.

1. When will we move past labels? Define witch.
2. I think this is a joke; at least I hope so? I have never ridden a broom and I don’t know anyone who has. I’ve seen a few people jump a broom or two, but ride, can’t say that I have. Do you realise how silly that would look? I mean REALLY. If anything, I like to go on a magic carpet ride. 🙂 did ya get that or is it soaring overhead on a broom?
3. I do not own, not have I ever owned a cauldron. I have done some cauldron work. Just to see what the hoopla was about. Wasn’t impressed.
4. Spells, incantations, yeah I know a few. You know a few prayers don’t ya? Kinda the same thing. If you really look at it. Really, requesting something from an “external/internal” source.
5. No, I can’t turn anyone into anything. REALLY. You’ve been watching too much Bewitched or Charmed or any of those shows that show stuff like that. But wouldn’t that be a hoot! Someone does something annoying and “poof” you’re a toad. But consider this, toads multiply at a ferocious rate. I’d much rather have one person not like me than 1,000s. (not an original thought, but…)
6. I have never sacrificed a small human or animal. I don’t Yeah, the folklore says that “witches” make sacrifices to…
7. No, I DO NOT WORSHIP SATAN. I mean, come on dude (or dudette), REALLY??? Stop watching late night television. Do you know how to use google?
8. Do I believe in God? (Which one because it appears that there are as many Gods as there are religions and just as many “holy texts”?) and it appears that more crap is done in “his name,” than in any pagan god’s name. Think about it!
9. Will I go to “heaven or hell?” Honestly, this place in which we live is hell to me. Pain, despair, hunger, war, disease, pestilence …. What is the difference betwixt my “hell” and your “hell?” As for the other place, I guess we shall see. Or will I?
10. Since I like myself soooo much, I’ve never found/seen the need to do the “coven” thing. Considering that I do not feel the need to do any group worship service thing, that would not appeal to me.
11. Yes, I’ve danced naked by the pale moonlight. IN THE PRIVACY OF MY HOME. I actually got that one. It’s a quote from one of those Batman films.

So I am thinking this is a joke. But it has been fun.

Oh, I do not like name droppers.

••••••

Do I look like an unlettered country oaf? Why do people think I am well, stupid? Why are they amazed at what I know?

a pui tardi