Category Archives: raves

A status update becomes a blog

Wow, I’ve been sitting here, reading “news” posts and listening to sound bites from various politicians. I’m shaking my head until I almost gave myself whiplash. I’ve asked myself a few questions.

1. When was the last time I believed ANY POLITICIAN?
2. What LIES and rations of half truths (LIES) will spew from their lips?

I can not remember the last time I believed anything any one of them have said. Wow, that’s sad.

I’ve no faith in the government or the politicians who were “elected” for the people and by the people. When it appears that they just don’t give a fuck about the people. (Sorry for the profanity. No I’m not sorry.) Wow….

✌️I don’t need to move anywhere. Because it appears that all governments are corrupt.✌️

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I am “sad.” I feel “sadness” in my heart. SAD not “depressed”

I stand here, looking out of the window, listening to Bent’s Swollen. I stand here thinking about how “sad” I am right now. Worry not, this isn’t an “Awwww poor baby” post. 😆

I am sad….
because, unless the bulk of humanity changes, we are doomed.
because I see fewer and fewer children in the out of doors, playing.
because I see people fight with themselves when deciding betwixt “right” and “wrong” when the choice is “easy.” Just do the right thing!
because those who need to be heard, who should be heard…aren’t heard.
because I am baffled about … just about everything.
because some where, some when – some one is cold, hungry, alone and afraid.
because I’ve not yet met a people whose technology would appear “magical” to me. (just seeing if you’re paying attention. Or am I?)

I am sad…
because of bloodshed over ….
pieces of metal
pieces of paper
how one group acknowledges the Supreme Being
who loves whom
land
water
cattle
dogs
football (American and European)
a pair of trainers
the latest designer fad
gold
oil
a perceived slight
a fight decades old, yet unresolved
because our respective government/rulers have forgotten that they “rule”/”lead” at the whim of the people. (With the exception of a few monarchies)

I am saddened because…
although there are a few people who “get it,” enough do not “get it.”
because as much as I welcome change, I dread the changes taking place in the world today.
because people just don’t get that…..(homage to A Fine Frenzy)

We were all one cell in the sea in the beginning.

Although I am saddened, I do believe that there is hope. LOL, I have faith in humans. I believe, that eventually they’ll do the right thing…..eventually. Let’s hope it won’t be too late.

Oh, I say “sad” not “depressed” because, I know that we can change. It is because of that knowledge that I’m not depressed.

Well, I’m needed in another place in time!

a pui tardi

Yeah, I AM of peace!

Tuesday, thus far (that was the original title)

Greetings and well met! Hey, how are you?

I’m trying a new format here. I would like to see if by utilising this “free writing” method, if I’ll keep up with this blog. Because I really do not know why I can’t put a few words together and tell a story. REALLY!

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My dreams have returned. Or perhaps the more accurate statement is that I am now able to recall some of the images. For the most part, they’ve been rather uneventful. Most have been down right funny. There was only one that woke me from a sound sleep….screaming. That, as one can imagine was not fun.

I’ve lost an important and inspirational influence in my life. It is my fault and I accept full responsibility. As usual, when I act from an emotional place, I cock things up. One would think that I would learn. Unfortunately for me, I do not believe that there is any chance for reconciliation. And I will BE FOREVER SADDENED BY THE LOSS.

But I can’t mend the jug with regret.

I’ve been hearing my Mother’s voice calling my name for the past few days. It was so realistic that on the past two, it actually startled me. The other day, I smelled the fragrance of her soap. I don’t use that brand…

I am finding it more and more difficult to remember my Father. I can’t even picture his face anymore.

My brother is also a concern. He worries about me. I worry about him. I worry …

Well, I’m finished with this one.

Oh no, I’m not finished!

I am tired of having to pay because our ELECTED officials can not seem to balance a check book. Why am I being taxed when I buy an item? Why am I taxed quarterly on items ALREADY taxed? Have a Hybrid? Get TAXED. Have a moped or a scooter? Get TAXED. TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX. This probably makes no sense to you. However, I know. 🙂

A pui tardi! ✌

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Ciao ciao!

E ‘stato un po ‘. and a few things have changed…here

Humm,

I try to post that whenever and wherever I can.

Bear with me, I’ve not worked from the desktop in a while. The feel of an actual keyboard is …odd.

Because I love Domo-kun.

OK, here we go…

Closure. Can we talk?

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call Timmy) who expressed that he wished that his friend (Billy) would talk about, a dark place in his life.

So, you know me. I asked,”What purpose would that serve him? Why would Billy wish to think about that period? Why would he want to re-live that? He has learned from it. He has become a much better person. He is actually happy; and, he has apparently moved on. Hell, he is thriving now as opposed to then. So why would he need to discuss that time?”

Now, here is the key, I think.

“Because I want him to discuss it so that I can have some closure.”

I am really startled. “Just why do you need closure on Billy’s problem? I am really curious to hear your answer to this.

Because, (reasons aren’t really relevant) but to sum it up. Timmy feels that because he went through those things with Billy, and that things were said about Timmy that “just weren’t true,” yada yada ya – ex-chetra (yeah, I know, watch Community)…..

“OK, do you not think Timmy has considered the source? Has he not apologised repeatedly? Has he not given you the ‘credit’ you’re due?”

I see where this is going so I raise a finger and say…

What you want, is to talk about YOU.
What YOU want is to talk about how YOU feel/felt.
What YOU want is to be the centre of attention.

If YOU need to discuss it, why don’t YOU talk to a therapist?

I thought you did those things out of concern, love and affection. Not to have something to bring up everytime you have an opportunity just so that you can say what you’ve done, and how you helped….

Subject changed….

So “closure” is it really for the “victim/survivor” or their “friends?”

a pui tardi

Wow, hummm, wow this is kinda toxic.. wow

WARNING: PROFANITY I use the “f” word a few times.

I guess I should be “pleased.” I got through the holidays and the new year…unscathed (not really, but I was able to force “happiness” which should not have to be forced). But, I should have known that it was too good to be true.

I can feel it.
Am I lucky?
At least I know when it is going to happen. The “normal” dreams are a precursor and then comes the feeling of “I just don’t give a fuck.” wow, wow, wow.

However, I have had a few “not normal” ones as well. One this morning, the original salon mates (Oz, Cathy and modi). LOL, Loreleila seated in the centre with Oz at her right and, I on the left..just sitting…conversing, writing, drawing, playing some type of game…then this woman…..with snow white hair… a few strands of black…just enough to see it….comes and decided that it is time for us to eat…she demands Oz have a slab of some creature and a giant glass of ale….then it gets fuzzy. But I do remember the end…she looked at us…those eyes….and reminded each of us that we must bring about change….somehow….it is up to us.

(Cathy, I guess she figured that we didn’t really need to eat because she focused on Oz’s dietary requirements. What’s up with that?)

Another “hint” the odd feelings that … Well that is a bit personal… Hehehehehe….. ARRRRGH.

I HAD A DREAM THAT THIS DAY WOULD COME.

All I want to do is go home.
All I want to do is to curl up and just sleep….a good year or two.
No, not sleep, just drift….

I am at the end of my rope.
No, not the suicidal end
Just…..done
I am tired of fighting
I am tired of being involved in the fights of others
I am tired of looking for answers to question that perhaps can not be answered
I am tired of screaming children AND adults

I sit here in the dark…waiting
Waiting for what
Who the hell knows
Sanity….
Lol, and who the hell defines what is sane for me
Ahh, they do
But who are “they”

Chaos and order
Jumbled thoughts
I think about the trees
The bay
The fact that I just got over a bloody FOUR DAY MIGRAINE
No job
No money (well that isn’t quite true)
No leads


Hummm

We are the cause of this cold snap
The intensity, severity
How many people died last night because of us
Hell, how many anythings died last night because of us
We are killing ourselves….slowly and don’t seem to fucking care.

Live it up
Buy buy buy
Consume consume
Waste waste
Heat up the planet
Pollute the air
Contaminate the soil…the water
NOW YOU ARE MOVING TO OUTER SPACE…WHAT THE FUCK

This kid is bitching because of his grades. Because his school system isn’t on a 10 point grade scale, his chances of getting into the school of his choice are diminished. Hummm, could not have anything to do with his 2.7 gpa

2.7 geez, a “high” C or “low” B. Back in the day…that was just unacceptable.

Study buddy.

Can’t make order in my head……

Right now it is like looking in a fun house mirror
The images are distorted, twisted
And I am not on anything, just sleep and whatever this is….

Drug combos…the bad ones, that came to me while thinking about Loreleila’s vlog/video. (I tried to upload the Concerta one, for some reason it wouldn’t. Who knows why)

Wronged…..
I have been wronged by so many.

Exes who COULDN’T control their carnal needs.
Employers who are easily swayed by big tits and the promise of a hand job.
“Friends” who because of their general level of stupidity and ignorance are threatened.
The racist bitch who …. Oh my
I have been wronged by that ill bred, low born, clod. THE backstabing twit. The unlettered country oaf, who thinks that because she went to a now defunct trade school (with no accrediation mind you) decades ago that she is “highly qualified” yet, she can’t …. And now claims to be a writer. Bitch, you can’t construct a simple sentence.

The Christian who has condemed me to hell. GUESS WHAT BITCH, I AM IN HELL EVERY FUCKING DAY. THIS PLACE…..THIS IS HELL.

Wow, wow wow

We feel wronged because we just can’t believe that someone in whom we put some measure of trust could betray “hurt” us. Especially when we have not “hurt” them.

WAIT A BLOODY MINUTE……….. What if we did and we didn’t know it?

Wow

I’ve tried the Tao today…..just not working. Looked for my passages in RTO….nope…
And the other texts that usually provide me some measure of comfort… Nyet, nein, no ain’t working today.

YOU KNOW WHAT……

I guess this is just supposed to be.
I know that I’ll rant, rave, break something, swear…but eventually balance will return.

But you know what, my greatest fear…other than being impaled (yeah odd, not being shot, poisoned….just impaled)…that I won’t come back and I am…..

Oh well, no need to worry about that until it happens.

There is no peace.

When I started this, it was dark out…the sun is rising

So we shall see, what crap will be served up today.

I guess I need to go to the head. I have to tinkle. I will wait until the last possible minute.

wow

I am really fucked guys….. Lol, but, right now I don’t care.

Oh, have I told you ….thanks?

the WILL and the WORD

sent using i617 technology

Humm, Tuesday and I am going to try something different


I am going to leave this window open. See what comes from the random thoughts and events of the day. In addition, if I come across images that move me, you know …I’ll post them too.

OK, I changed my mind. I won’t leave the window open. One never knows who is watching/monitoring/etc. (not paranoia, just cautious)